It's the End of the World as I Know It, and I Feel Fine

So...she's out. I left to go shopping today to get myself out of the house today so she could move her shit out. I certainly wasn't going to help, but at the same time, didn't want to sit here like a mope while her dad and brother moved her crap.

Don't misunderstand - I am not feeling any real pain right now. In fact she literally just walked out the door with my son, saying he was staying with her tonight and she was sleeping at her new house, and the only thing that hurts is seeing him go, not her. I'm very glad. In fact, right now, the thing I want to do most is turn my stereo on nice and loud and play some old Judas Priest or Guns N' Roses.

In fact, I'm gonna go do just that. One moment, please...

(Skipping straight to "Night Train" on "Appetite for Destruction" - song of my youth, baby!)

OK so anyway, I had a nice time shopping, met my friend "ER" this morning, went to Old Navy, bought myself a new pair of jeans - three sizes (6"!) smaller than before. Damn, THAT felt good. Picked up some new polo's - XL, not XXL. Also felt good. Had lunch with ER and a nice afternoon, ALSO felt good.

She had to be home as her mom could only watch her daughter for the early afternoon, so from about 2:30-5:00 I shopped and otherwise hung out at Border's Books & Cafe here. It's the one place in the Lehigh Valley I get my company's free WiFi Hotspot. (We're not exactly a region on the cutting edge of wireless. There were about 10 WiFi Hotspots in Naples, for example...)

Chatted with Punky a bit, gave her the advice from Meg here about logging all her ex's calls and saving all the Emails. Apparently, he called her up Saturday when she had a friend over (we're both dating people, as has been said...) and said, "Oh, so that JD guy spent the night? Well, all I want to know is will Mr. Crewcut be gone before I bring the kids back Sunday?"

So - obviously, he's been stalking her. See, people - I HAVE a sense of perspective. This is something that I even I - the guy who reads Email while my wife is living in our home - find repugnant. She's out now, it's over. The ONLY time I will go to her house is if invited and/or picking up my son.

Anyway, I don't have a crew cut - that's her other friend. So crazy ex husband obviously stalked her and watched who came and went from her home (her new home, not one they shared) and thinks that he's the same guy she spent New Year's Eve with - me, in other words (since I had given her those token gifts for her kids, he knew I was the Friday date) and that we spent the weekend together. Poor Punky! Guy is an ass and a perfect example to me of how NOT to act.

I told her - he might intimidate other friends of hers (he apparently sent a picture of himself in his cop uniform, with pistol, to her friend in England she was chatting with. You know the Britons and their handguns, guy was apparently quite freaked out!) but it really didn't phase me, if she wants me to I'll call him and talk to him, but that's up to her if she feels it would help. Probably not. He's a corrections officer and a part time cop and I'm so unimpressed by that it's not funny. :)


So, anyway, back to her movin' out....it's bittersweet right now, definitely.

She's gone, most of the furniture is gone, but I'm OK with that. My mom's good Ethan Allen stuff I inherited is up there still in the living room, and my computers and entertainment center is down here by my fireplace, so all is right with the world in that. I'm glad she's out, I'm actually looking forward to vacuuming the empty upstairs, using our Bissell carpet shampooer to clean the carpets, and thinking about how I'm going to replace the furniture with much less "stuff" that will all match.

We were typical new-marrieds, still had a hodgepodge of mis-matched furniture that she'd brought from her last 2 apartments, and only ever added to it some ugly paste-board bookshelves and stuff that I was looking to replace with real stuff soon anyway. So, actually, once the financials are safely in hand, I'm excited to do my house the way I want it.

My son is gone, though, and of course that hurts. I just keep telling myself I didn't choose this and I will still be his Daddy, regardless of what she says or does with her own life, and so that'll be OK. That's the bitter part, though. He was very sleepy when they left so I just got a hug and a kiss and a "I love (The Boy) does (The Boy) love Daddy?" "(sleepily) I love Daddy...." but I'll see him tomorrow when they come to move the last 2 or 3 big things out. And then we're set to begin the 2 days on/off custody switch. This is a good test run, we're trying this without any official seperation agreement, and we'll see if both sides behave. I know I will.



However, I am GLAD I came home before she was completely finished. Why?

As I sat here writing the first part of this, her Dad came down carrying curtain rods. I almost thought nothing of it - we had a spare set lying in the upstairs walk-in closet since we moved in. But then I decided I better go upstairs and investigate...

She'd stripped the curtains off the front living room window! There was the Christmas tree, standing in front of a bare glass picture window. WTF?!

I called EL over, and nicely asked, "Are you taking the curtains?"

"Yes. My Mom bought them for me."

OK. I was calm. I said - hey, listen - maybe your Mom paid for them, and maybe they were bought and handed to you - but you cannot take the curtains off the front of my HOUSE. They match the carpet, they match the paint. They're the HOUSE'S curtains!

She said again, her mom paid $500 for those curtains, they were for her. I just said again, "EL, take a deep breath, don't get angry, and I'll walk away so you can consider this - but just think for a moment what you are saying. Do they even match your apartment?"

"Oh, no, my apartment has curtains, they're taking them for their house."

Hoo boy.

I STILL remained calm, which I think shocked her the most. LOL. She (and her mom) really aren't able to deal with this "New non-Angry JD" person they've convinced themselves is some kind of unstable beast.

I just said, "OK, well, I'm sorry but that convinces me - the curtains are staying, please. No way will I agree to your Mom taking the curtains off our house with the blue walls and blue carpeting, to put in their house with the hardwood floors and green walls. Sorry, no. Those curtains belong to the HOUSE, not either of us, did I try to say the bed was yours but the mattress was mine because I paid for that? No, I didn't, and neither can you."

EL saw it reasonably, I guess, or she didn't want a confrontation, I hope the former. But in any case she said, OK, keep them. She asked her Dad to bring them back in.

Her mom got all uppity about it of course, poor EL told her Mom, "I'll pay you back for the curtains, Mom" which is just lip service, because her Mom wouldn't do that anyway, and her Mom knew it because she still got in my face about it and started claiming how she bought them for EL.

I just said it nicely again as I walked downstairs, "Curtains are for the house, it doesn't matter who paid for them or who's name was on the box, they belong to the home, not the person, let's not argue." As EL walked out I even said, hey if you want to buy other blue curtains that match but don't cost $500 if that's the problem, then you can do that, but you aren't stripping the curtains off the house and leaving.

(Which, technically she did anyway because they didn't HANG them again for me, just piled all the crap there by the window, but fuck her, I can hang them easily enough. Ironically they didn't just take the curtains, they were going to take every last bit of hardware, hangers, screws, and everything else that goes with them...Christ, what gets in to people?)


Hmm, ok, that was several paragraphs about the curtains. I guess I'm defensive. Am I being silly? Who the fuck buys curtains for a PERSON...they're for the house, right? Or am I crazy here?

Anyway...I'm rockin' out here, time to flip G'n'R to The Who and go classic for a bit.

I gotta go, I need to wash my new jeans and polo's. :)