I am still alive...

Y'know, for how useful, nay, completely necessary to my sanity and daily functioning this blog once was, it shocks me how quickly I just let it all drop away.

I guess, once I started living a new life via the "acceptance" stage of Ye Olde Five Phases, it just ceased to play a part.

Since then most of the posts have been some variant of, "I'm still alive, what about the rest of you?" "You" being those few people who made an actual connection with me here and exchanged a few emails or whatever.

Well, that's all this is too. I am still alive, still dating Alicia, the Boy is great, EL is still a stupid skank.....but lots of other changes have taken place. New job, new career search being the big ones... Alicia has moved into my home with me and sold her own, and things really are pretty darn good.

All that said, I'm going to start a new blog, because I'm starting a new job this week, and I've learned once that a blog is a great way to deal with changes, plus it's a job that may lead to some fun and funny observations.

Since I'll be blogging all about my new job, which is just that, a "job" versus a career, and the continual career search for a "real" job in my chosen profession...I'll have to stay anonymous. Won't be too good for the current job, even if I don't plan to be there long, to be exposed that way.

So...sorry I can't tell anyone where I'm blogging now. If anyone reads this who was once a regular, well, maybe you can figure it out. Maybe you can even email me and I'll let you know.

If not, just keep reading and browsing new blogs and have fun, and who knows, you might come across me again, or if not, are sure to find some other fun blogs to read.

I'm not sure this is the 100% official "end" of The End of My Marriage blog, but likely, it is.

Wow, helpful therapy...

No slam against Dennis the therapist/counselor I was seeing back in October '04 when this whole divorce, but that was mostly just talk therapy...made me feel better to talk stuff out, but there were really no outcomes or goals or that kinda thing.

Couple weeks ago when I started feeling like I was back in the same 'ol same 'ol rut again, getting complacent (aka "fat and happy") with my life, and letting things slide, I decided to pre-empt the situation and called my EAP line at work and hooked up with a much more outcome-oriented CBT therapist, Jane.

It's much nicer. Not only have I already made some basic progress in "getting shit done" in my life, we've also done some digging into my psyche kinda thing that Dennis never really bothered with.

Now, the answers to most of that digging have been the easy, cliche' answers of "daddy issues" with my father and antiauthority streak going back to my pre-teen years, but just because they're the easy cliche answers/insights doesn't make 'em wrong. In fact this is the same thing that I was learning about myself back in the '80s when I was seeing a child psychiatrist for my "school phobia" (transalte: underachievement, disengament from social norms, anxiety, etc) issues.

Thing is I seem to be in a place where I can address it more, and Jane seems like a much more active, hands-on kinda counselor who'll help me dig into these things a bit more and make some progress.

As such I definitely will be blogging more as a way to write out some of the issues and keep a log of sorts.

My "homework" for this week is to try and identify different times when I do feel internal anger, dare I say "rage" at things (though, I'm happy to note, when I DO feel that irrational rage/anger these days, the worst that happens is I say to Alicia or The Boy or whoever, "Sorry, give me a minute here, OK, I'm getting a little upset, lemme walk away for a minute." (obviously The Boy gets a more simplified, "Daddy needs to count to 10 to feel better, want to count with me?" kinda thing)) vs. when I am in a situation where I don't feel any anger at all even though it might be warrented.

What I'm trying to explain is that it's very odd and there's a pattern I'd like to try to identify -- sometimes I get really pissed off and feel that desire to just kick the shit outta something (never someone, honestly...) vs. other times when I just shrug it off and move on.

Like, last night for no reason my laptop decided to stop working. Like, flip the switch and nothing, man. And after a few minutes of fiddling with the battery, and the charger, and the socket, etc....I just felt that feeling of "fuck this shit, this fucker's gonna break into a million pieces when it hits the driveway from the 2nd floor window over there" and had to tell Alicia, "OK, please, gimme a minute here, please don't ask me if you can help or offer suggestions right now, I gotta calm down..." Same thing happened a couple days ago when TurboTax wasn't calculating something correctly and telling me there was an error in my return over a credit I never even tried to enter...software kept arguing with me, I finally had to walk away...

On the other hand, other day I was stuck in traffic and late for something and it never even occurred to me to be uptight about it. Why, can't do anything, it is what it is... Or, I'm in a "dispute" situation with a very sneaky, nasty Ebay seller over a book I bought and never received, and I am so laid back about it as we email back and forth it surprises me I don't feel the least anger. Lotsa things like that.

There's some kinda pattern there and I'm not sure what it is, but hopefully, logging it more when it happens might help it emerge.

OK, gotta get moving for the day here...

BTW I will soon be switching from this blog to another one that I created like a year ago, since my divorce is just about over...and I will no longer be a "husband" in any sense obe the word...

IF you'd like to follow me over to the new blog, you have to send me an Email so I can email you back the new blog info. Sorry 'bout that but it's the only way, I have some people, friends, family etc. who've been reading this one that spread it to others who I'd rather NOT be reading it so in an attempt to weed 'em out a bit it's the only way...

To the Original Red-Headed Goddess

I know you're reading the blog, who else from "v????????.edu" would be dropping in on this boring lame-O blog anymore?

So why didn't you write me back to my Email, it kinda depressed me, like, y'know, "Maybe I only remember to write every few months, but she and I always have been like that, and it's been kinda OK for so long...but maybe she's just closing that chapter forever now." Bleah, say it ain't so, we should still be friends, in fact, with me and Alicia being so much more outgoing and friend-seeking/entertaining happy than me and EL -ever- were, we should actually be able to hang out once in a great while, do some Philly 'burb dinners, something....

So, like, email or something, willya? How's life? How's the neverending home improvement going? How's A? Y'know...check in, lemme know life goes on apace and all's well and happy! (or not, hope not of course, but you know, that's just as important. You've always been there for me even when I didn't deserve it!)

Two new entries in a week? Woot!

Yeah, so I guess there's enough happening to talk about. Plus, it IS good therapy, y'know, and seeing as I'm "back in therapy" then why not?

Mortgage broker just left, had an appointment today at 11. Good news, financing should just breeze through - didn't need paystubs, tax returns, anything.

That's amazing when I consider that not even 9 years ago, I was a slacker pizza guy living in his Mom's house, not worried about much more than keeping myself in cheap wine and video games and dating, well, EL (and those that came before her as well, of course...)

So 9 years later I get a mortgage on a nice bi-level home in a nice suburb of a nice Lehigh Valley, PA town without anything more than a credit check and a handshake.

I really don't want to piss that away, now do I? I think that's why I realized it was time to really get my head back on straight and start excelling at my job again rather than just showing up, eh?

S'anyway, I'm not gauche enough to get into financials but I just qualified for an amount of money that would have been staggering to me even 6 or 7 years ago, without a spouse or co-applicant. And it's only about 75% of the equity of the house anyway -- which, if you'll recall, is why I needed to get the loan so badly.

To recap, if I'd not have qualified for my own mortgage, the property agreement says, we have to sell the house and split the cash equally as part of the divorce. But if I do qualify, she'll let me have the house. So, obviously, I'm happy. Sure, closing costs are a bitch and the interest rate is a full point and a half higher than it was when we re-fi'd in 2003, but one way or another I'll have sold the house or re-fi'd again before my 5 year ARM kicks in.

So, we're in the endgame after all. Only other thing I need to do is have my attorney finish up the 401k transfer (EL Skank is only taking 12.5% of the worth of my 401k when of course she'd be entitled to half, so again, I'll give her credit for being fair and honest) and in 2 weeks it'll be closing on the house, and then I'll be done.

Woot. Woot indeed. Long time coming, and who'd have thought back in October '04 with those first few blog entries I'd be happy to have it coming. :) Hell I've got a big grin on my face now just thinking about it.

Still not dead. Just life, y'know?

So who has time to blog anymore anyway?

I don't even really have the time to reply to the 2 or 3 people who emailed me 2 months ago after my last post, but suffice to say - I did get your mail, I was glad to hear from you, and glad to know that other's lives are also progressing nicely.

As is tradition, I will say, "I really might start blogging more in the near future" before disappearing for another 2 months. But who knows, I might.

I am actually "back in therapy" as things got kinda weird the last few weeks, I just sorta woke up and realized that in some areas (happily, not anger management! heh) I really have slipped back into some of my unhappy habits and depressive states that helped bring about the whole divorce situation to begin with, so I decided to take the initiative and find a more helpful, dynamic CBT therapist and start working on some of these other issues before they get outta hand.

Nutshell version, I'm finding some periods of depression are slowing me down again and stupid stuff is happening - bills piling up, work projects falling behind, home maintenance not getting done, etc. Not exactly life-threatening, but, that's how it's bound to start.

So, yeah, things are actually a lot BETTER than they were a year ago, but I've decided I'm going to have to start working harder at keeping them that way.

All other fronts, things are good or unchanged: The Boy is now potty trained, finally. Divorce STILL isn't final - but will be in 3 more weeks, give or take. I still don't know if I will own my home or have to sell and split it with The Skank, but again - within the week I should have an answer on that one. RHA and I are still dating, well over a year now and all's really well on that front, too. EL Skank and I are still getting along for The Boy's sake and should hopefully continue to do so. Oh, and no, I don't spy on her anymore (nor have I ever had any inclination to spy on anyone else, despite what some folks here warned me about...) as really, who cares?

But, I think this is news (maybe I mentioned this in the January posting, not sure if I knew then or not, but the Other Guy's wife finally left him. heh. I had nothing to do with it (I don't think I did, anyway) and yes, I DO still wonder if even now, maybe I should call her up and let her know just what was going on...maybe she knows, maybe (more likely) she knows about him with SOMEONE but I bet it's not EL Skank....probably he just got caught later with someone else...

Oh well, not my problem, really.

And that's it. Later!

2006? Get the hell out...

Has it really been over a year...amazing. I wanted to pop in here back around the middle of October, that being the 1 year anniversary of the blog, and throw a post, but I just never got the time.

Incredible when you consider how I blogged 4-5 times a day back in the worst of it all, eh? And now, I haven't posted at all since summer, more or less.


It's just because things are now boring and regular. There's just no drama anymore, no angst, etc.

Oh, I'm still depressed from time to time, the holiday were especially frustrating for Alicia (yeah, RHA's name is Alicia. I think I'm tired of all the fake name crap, and since the blog never did become an issue in my divorce or anything, screw it, I'm done with that...) because I have never much been one for holidays anyway, and this year was a mess.

But, not because I was depressed over my divorce or anything like that. It was just my usual holiday depression and anxiety....but it was difficult for her anyway. We're fine again now though, and I'll be more careful next year.


DIvorce-wise things are still in neutral. All the agreements and stuff are done, though EL (I'll stick with "EL" and "The Boy" for now) hasn't signed hers yet, her lawyer is holding her hostage and refusing to let her sign/notarize the agreement and file it until she pays in full. Nice lawyer, eh? So EL is trying to get me to pay her some money that the agreement says I'll pay her once signed, saying she can't afford to pay her lawyer. I basically said, "Sounds like you're in a catch-22 there eh, EL? I'm not paying you 'till you sign it, because I don't have to pay you 'till then...."

Dunno where that'll lead, but anyway, it's getting close to over...once she signs, it's filed and that's it, we go for the final decree. Also of course at that point I'll start applying for mortgages and financing to see if I'm going to be able to get this house; if I do get my own financing then it's mine, if I don't, we'll have to sell and I have to give her half the profits, so obviously I do NOT want that to happen....I'm hoping like hell I'll get the mortgage...


The Boy came through Christmas just fine, got lots of presents and contiues to be happy and well adjusted thru all this stuff.

The Boy, Alicia and I are going to Disney for vacation next week, that'll be pretty cool...will visit my Dad in Naples, FL while we're down there as well, so that'll be good for The Boy - he hasn't seen my dad and his wife for almost a year now.


I no longer know much about what EL is up to nor do I care. I think that's kinda funny, so many people here used to comment about how "obsessed" I was with her and her stupid escapades, and warned me I'd never get over it, etc, etc....basically I just got tired of giving a shit sometime in February and that was that.

Oh, well, ok now I'll give the lie to that last statement and say that I did notice that the Other Guy's wife seems to have left him....big surprise, eh? I know this not thru any weird freaky spying though, don't worry, just from the fact that I happened to see his wife's picture in the Yahoo! personal ads! LOL! (And no, I wasn't looking for a date, remember, I"ve been dating Alicia now for almost a year, nah, it was just that for some reason 2 months ago Yahoo! started sending me "People in your area that match your profile" or something like that, and there she was...hehe


So, I admit that DID rekindle the "hmm, should I tell her what her scummy husband was up to last year?" debate in my head, but, as always, I'm not gonna worry about it. I guess I stopped giving a shit about that, too. Though, once my divorce is final, I still DO plan to call the Other Guy and just tell him man-to-man how I knew all along the stupid shit he was up to and how I have his life in the palm of my hand. I enjoy the idea of making him sweat a little even now.

But, that's all the drama on that score, and really I don't care. I hadn't thought of any of that for a few months or so 'till I saw his wife's personal ad and it got me thinking again.


On other fronts, work is fine, my relationships are fine, family stuff is all good, and like I said The Boy is still healthy, happy, and adjusting fine to everything. He and Alicia just love each other to death and all that, so it's great.

I did end up getting a roommate - a friend from work - who's a nice quiet guy, gets along OK with everyone, and that helps with the mortgage and bills a bit. He's cool, I actually hope for his sake I DO get my mortgage so I don't have to sell the house out from under him - he's also recently divorced, much more amicably than mine though, no kids/no property in his marriage so really it's just the emotional heartache for him and his ex, none of the material pains in the ass. My house is big enough we don't get in each other's way, and I stay over at ALicia's half the time anyway. He had two friends over for a week (his girlfriend from CA and her friend) and even with all of us here it was no biggie.

(Before anyone says anything odd, his two friends are both nannies (excuse me, the more snooty "au pere" is more appropriate, I guess, but I'm not sure I spell that correctly...heh) for rich snobs out on the west coast, so I considered them "safe" to stay here for a week, and it's not like The Boy is ever home when I'm not...)

So, yeah, life goes on, I'm sometimes surprised at how quickly everything sorta worked itself out. I know - I myself had some skepticism that the Alicia thing wasn't just a "rebound" or that I was in denial about things, or whatever -- but I guess none of that turned out to be true in the end. I guess I did just move on easily once I realized it was going to be the way it was going to be, and that's that.


I hope all of my "regulars" for awhile there, who were all in your own divorces and stuff, are doin' ok as well....sorry I just don't blog anymore, as much as I WANT to, there's always something else around to demand the time I used to spend on blog posts.

A post a month is probably optimistic at this point.


Anyway, hope everyone has a happy healthy and fun 2006!

JD the BH

Ahh, ok....

I see Blogger added a "verification word" dealie to the comments, that should be fine. So that's what I did. Verify away, commentors!

(I know, I don't have anyone reading this anymore, so, won't be any comments anyway...)

But, "D" if you are still alive and well down there in Katrina land, contact me, willya? I lost all your info!

Still not dead....but freakin' spam...

Hi all. I'm still not dead, just no drama anymore.

Well, maybe a little, but no time to document it. Mostly all is fine. Divorce SILL not final, but almost. Still no arguments or hassles, just stupid stuff holding it all up. Y'know, like, "Shouldn't it say you'll keep The Boy as sole beneficiary of all your life insurance?" (My answer: "Hello? I don't know about you, but I just might have more children in my future -- so, no. How about we put in that each of us will maintain a 250k policy in his name only?") And, lots of other stupid quibbles like that....substantially we agree.

Still no word, until this agreement is finally signed, on whether or no I will be able to get financing to keep my house.

Life with RHA is just fine. Apparently, my fears of it all being a "rebound" was wrong. SUre, it's less than a year, who really knows, but who EVER really knows? I can only say that after 9 months with RHA I can't really see any reason it all won't just keep going and going and going, happily.

The Boy is doing OK. Had his 3rd birthday a few weeks ago....he's still a freakin' genius, er, except if only we could get the potty training thing under control...

Work rolls along as always. The major problems I was having there are over, though, in fact I'm enjoying being on top of things lately.

And, that's all I have time for.

The REAL reason I had to log into blogger to make this entry and update stuff? The freakin' spambots have found my blog and are driving me nuts. 10-20 comments a day now, all stupid, all bullshit. So I have to figure out if I can disable comments without losing all comments. We'll see. I hate to delete what's there, there has been a lot of useful dialog in those comments. This whole blog, I've downloaded of course, and someday may just put up somewhere else.

In the meantime, though, I'm going to have to disable comments. If anyone wants to contact me, the email address on the blog still works... thebadhusband at yahoo dot com...y'know?

What the !?!?

Most insane search parameters that have led someone to my page:

http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv1-msgr&p=free%20pics%20of%20guy%20lawyers%20fucking%20other%20guys


Yes, that's right, someone did a Yahoo search for "free pics of guy lawyers screwing other guys" and of all the links that came up, they decided to come to my page.

It's a strange, strange world out there.

In other news, hello to Bib and "Everything Nice" and also King Erasmus who's linking to me and hasn't, to my knowledge, ever said hello. :) Neat that new people have found my blog and felt like commenting.

A few new developments but I'm late for work at the moment, just had to share that bizarre search string. More later. :)

I keep telling myself, "It's just a phase...for all of us."

Well, not such a bright and cheerful "Everything's goin' great!" entry today.

(off the subject, I've been thinking the blogging was an act of therapy that was helping more than I thought it was, so I am going to make a more concerted effort to blog more often...but anyway...)


There have been inklings of this here and there over the last few weeks, but last night, my son started crying into his dinner at about 6:30...it started with him just looking sad, next thing you know it was "I want to go to Mommy's, I want to sleep in my train bed, I want to go to (EL's town name, we'll call it EL-town...) ELtown to sleep tonight!"

Oh boy.

He just wouldn't calm down. For about an hour, on and off, he was crying. Said he wanted to talk to Mommy. Well, EL and I do have an agreement and I actually do my best to hold my end up, so even though I did not think it was a Good Thing, I called her - not home though. Try explaining that to a distraught 2 year old...

Well, long and short of it, he was very upset and kept saying he wanted to be with Mommy. I'd say, "Don't you like being at Daddy's" and of course he'd say yes, but didn't matter, he'd go right back to asking for Mommy's house, etc.

Now, I'm not stupid or naive and so I "take this" on two levels - one, the analytical, observant person who understands some of these dynamics now, looks at it as just a phase that he's going through, and it's nothing personal, and he's 2 (almost 3) years old and can hardly articulate these complex thoughts and feelings he's having, and he's in the middle of a terrible time and we all have to do our best to help him through it, and he'll be OK, and I'll be OK...

And on the other of course, it's hurting me like a motherfucker for two reasons, mainly... #1, I have to say "no" to him that he has to be at Daddy's tonight, because that's the right thing for many reasons, and #2 of course because he's crying for Mommy but he never cries for Daddy when he's with her. (I don't know that, she says he doesn't, and I actually choose to believe that...)

I tell myself all the right things - he's hurting, he's naturally bonded more with Mommy anyway, it's a phase some kids go through even in married happy families, he'll be OK, he forgets about it all once I distract him with something fun and interesting, etc.etc.etc.... but it still sucks.


Now, the EL part of this is, that I do not feel she is helping the situation. On the one hand, I know when I'm around the two of them she's big on saying things like, "You'll have fun with Daddy, and Mommy will see you Wednesday" or wahtever. "You like being at Daddy's house, it's fun, you guys can play" and stuff. I don't really know what she says/does behind my back with him, of course, but I would HOPE she doesn't say anything negative. (more on this in a moment, though.) Yes, because it's in our agreement not to and I could get her in "legal trouble" (theoretically, but good luck proving something liek that, right?) but also because it's the right thing and I actually give her enough credit to think she isn't KNOWINGLY, purposely, trying to make him "love mommy/not want to be with Daddy."

BUT....she's undermining things in her own immature actions. My "nights" are Monday and Tuesday, so those two days I go pick him up at her parent's house (they watch him during the day, and yes, I'm starting to wonder if that's a good idea...) at about 5:30-6pm. For the last few weeks, SHE is ALWAYS THERE when I do. She apparently runs up there after work and gets there about 20 minutes before me, and plays with him and stuff like that.

I'm not thrilled with that, but I don't know that I could really stop it even if I were inclined to. I told her I think it's wrong and I wish she wouldn't, her reply is (getting all angry) "I call him everyday, and I tell him if he wants to see me I'll come visit, and he always does, and I will not say no to my son! I will never deny him if he wants to see me I will be there!" Legalities aside, I ask you - is that realistic? IS that really "good parenting" to never deny your son anything? I don't think so. Yes, I'm baised, but come on....you have to say no sometimes, don't you?

That aside, it's clearly not "fair" to me and The Boy's relationship. Because of course, what this means is when I get there at 5:30, no matter what she SAYS, it LOOKS like "Daddy is taking you away from Mommy now." Right?

Right.

There's more...she makes a big to-do over him and says how much she'll miss him and everything while I'm putting him in the car, etc.

I aksed her nicely last night when this all came to a head in a phone call argument, "Would you at least please make sure to leave before I get there, to avoid that appearance?" She refused, again by saying, "The Boy always asks me to stay and not leave until you get there."


Listen, reading this back this sounds heartless, like I'm saying she has to deny him things and say "no" to him and refuse to spend time with him on my days. Tjhat's not my point, really. Occasionally, it's fine...but this refusal to even imagine saying "no" to him is NOT doing HIM any favors! If she truly wants what's right for him, shouldn't she realize this behavior is hurting and confusing him more?


Yes, I could "retaliate" by starting to show up there myself on "her days" - and if I did, she's really fucked because I have a very flexible schedule at work, it would be damned easy for me to leave every day at 4, spend some time at his Pappy's house with him until she gets there, reverse this situation, and then go back to work to make up the time. I could also - adn this I might start doing - leave work early on Monday/Tuesday to pick him up before she gets there and make up the time later int he week. I may have to start doing that.

But I'm digressing - I don't WANT to "retaliate" because that's not going to help The Boy OR the two of us deal with this.


I think - and this isn't purely an original though, RHA has speculated thusly - that the real problem is that SHE can't bear to be away from him, SHE needs to be with someone who loves and needs her unconditionally, and that's why she keeps playing this "he needs his Mommy more than his Daddy" card at me.


Did I blog in here last week when she had me all pissed off that she essentially (not that she'd see it this way) tried to "bribe" or "buy me off" of my son? She did. She said if I'd give her more time with him, she'd "cut me a break" on the child support. Yep, that's right!

She tried to say, in fact, "I think you should have him during the day at your house on your weekends, but he should sleep at mine." She doesn't see how stuff like that would make it worse, not better....

But anyway, yeah, she tried to claim if I would do that, she's ask for less child support. Which is ass-backwards, anyway!

Needless to say I refused. I love my son and I have to do everything I can to build our relationship in spite of her actions and I won't budge on this.

The property agreement isn't signed yet, so I hate to antagonize her, but quite honestly if it came down to it and she flipped out and reneged on the whole agreement and decided to go after my stocks, my 401k, etc.etc.... I would still not back down. There's no amount of money I'd trade for less than 50% of the time with my son, and my stocks/401k are nothing to get excited about financially anyway... (Unless maybe Deutsche Telekom really DOES sell off T-Mobile USA, in which case my options might surge...heh)


So...anyway. This has me upset. I don't want to get all "lawyer" on her, but it happens I have a meeting on Monday with mine about the property stuff, so I will ask a few questions. I think I'm screwed to a point - as long as he's going to day care at his grandparents (her parents) I'm sure I don't have a leg to stand on demanding that she not be there.

I'm too broke to put him in day care those days, though I'm just about upset enough to swallow my pride and ask my Dad and his wife if maybe they'd be willing to pay for 2 days of day care a week so on Monday/Tuesday I could drop him off at the daycare center that's 1 block away from my office....

She said some pretty annoying stuff last night, but I did my best to refuse to argue or get angry....which of course really got her pissed off and to the point where she eventually hung up on me. I don't even get phased by that anymore - never did really, but definitely not now. But anyway, she got under my skin with one comment: "Maybe you need to spend more time with him when you're with him." I was like, "Did you hear waht you just said?" She replied, "You knwo what I mean, you should be playing with him instead of fucking around on your computer..." Now, she hasn't lived here for 6 months, what the hell is she talking about?

I think my blog audience can attest to the fact I hardly use the computer at all anymore, and not when he's here that's for sure. But yeah, that one pissed me off - because it shows what she THINKS goes on here and therefore I think shows what in her little mind is the problem - she thinks the reason he wants to be with Mommy all the time isn't because of the crap SHE'S doing to spoil him and undermine me, but because he and I don't have fun or play or something.

Whatever....she's completely wrong ofcourse, but I won't deny that pissed me off. I felt like saying, "What about all the time you spend in chatrooms when he's at your house and it's before 8pm, who's he playing with then?" But yeah, I'm not gonna sink to her level....she also said he said Daddy doesn't read to him anymore which is silly - RHA and I had read him 2 stories that very night before he fell asleep in fact. And as I think I blogged before, after reading a story or two at bedtime, then I tell him a story based on what he wants to hear about (last night he wanted a story about a biplane and the control tower at the airport...) AND then he tells ME a story. (Which usually sounds a lot like the one I told, or else a lot like what he and I did that day, but still, it's a story he's telling from his own imagination...)


OK I'm getting defensive here and laundry-listing all the good things we do together....I guess to make myself remember that she's full of shit and has no clue what's going on here. None.

I just wish she'd wise up and realize that this over-smothering him with Mommy all the time isn't going to help the situation.

I'd much rather her back off on "my days" than the opposite, which is for me to start over-smothering him myself on "her days." That is a stupid war and one I probably can't win and would hurt my son to no end to get involved in.

Oh, and one last thing....last night as he was bawling and saying things it was hard to make out, I think he said something like "Daddy's house sucks." I said, "What about Daddy's house?" HE said it again, clearer - "Daddy's house sucks." I said, "Who says that?" and his reply, of course, was "Mommy did. Mommy says Daddy's house sucks."

Now, I ask you, would a not-quite-3 year old be able to come up with that on his own, while in a highly emotional state? I don't think so. I'm not saying she actually said that to HIM, maybe she just said it while he was in the room to someone, I don't know....but I'm not happy.

She denied it of course, completely. But I'm sure he's not making that up.

Oh, he also said in a very odd way, when I puicked him up yesterday as she was putting him in the car, "I'm going to ask Daddy if I can go home with Mommy." But he never actually ASKED me, he just kept saying that to HER. My gut feeling is that she coached him to say that, like, "If you want to come with Mommy, you'll have to ask Daddy yourself if you can come home, you can ask him when he gets here."

Maybe that's not fair and just in my mind. He IS very smart and articulate and I could see him coming up with that one purely on his own, in a contemplative state.

But "Mommy says Daddy's house sucks" when he's completely emotional and crying and all that -- no. That was pure EL that time.

Ugh.

Sure has been quiet around here...

Been awhile, eh?

I wonder, any of the old "regular readers" still out there? I sometimes wonder what's happening in your lives...we heard a lot about each other. SH, Mac, Barbara, NZ, "D", etc...I know, I have some of your Email addresses, but, never write or anything.


So....it'd be lame to say, "Not much is going on, not much to write about." A life is by nature full of events. I just don't have the urge anymore to run and blog all the shit that happens.

The divorce shit, has subsided. Life goes on. Funny how I knew someday I'd be saying that even as I also "knew" I'd never really believe it. Turns out "they" were right - it gets better, and I'm happier and better off.


Still not a lot of resolution - divorce still not final, property agreement still a hassle, but not because of any drama or fighting over anything, just, lawyers trying to earn their fees or something...dragging it out, quibbling over details, demanding re-writes.... Sara, 'fess up, you guys do that on purpose don't ya? :)


But...work is better lately. I'm on top of things again. Still not perfect, but my output is nearly normal, I'm on top of my project, and I'm able to feel that, even though I can't see it like when I was training a class of 30 people...there are 3000 people (and the 150,000 customers a day they speak to) who learned everything they know about their job from my curriculum. I had a hard time adjusting to not being able to see the results of my work, but there is enough empirical proof now that what I've done over the last few months has made a positive difference. "Quality" is up, "Call Time" is down. "Customer Satisfaction" of the reps who work what I write is way up. So that helps.

Family life is good...The Boy is doing really well, still haven't gotten that potty training thing down but otherwise, this kid is amazing. All parents say this, I know, but really - he's a genius. More articulate than the 3 and 4 year olds he plays with at the playground. Knows the difference between a P51 Mustang and a P47 Thunderbolt just by looking. :) Can tell you the names of about 20 parts of a steam locomotive? Knows the difference between an African and a European swallow? Can sing most of the song, "Nighttrain" by Guns'n'Roses without prompting?

Every night, I tell him a bedtime story, and he tells me one. Often his stories bear a suspicious resemblance to the events of the day ("Once upon a time, Daddy and The Boy went to Wal-Mart to buy crackers. They drove the Red Race Car. There was a dog in the park. The end.") but still, he works in some imagination now and then, like when we rode an airship to his pappy's house to catch rabbits...

So yeah, The Boy is great. I'm good. RHA is still my girlfriend, 6 months now. Are we past the "rebound" stage yet? Does it qualify as real love now and not "just the first person you dated seriously since you seperated"? I hope so, 'cuz, it sure doesn't show any signs of stopping...just gets better and better.

Medication seems to be on the level now, by the way - to recap:

20 mg Prozac - didn't seem to notice.
30 mg Prozac - might've been helping, not sure.
40 mg Prozac - seemed like things were OK, but, weird side effects creeping in.
150 mg Wellbutrin - had high hopes, but, didn't notice anything good, and definitely realized Prozac had been helping more than I knew, 'cuz stuff started to pile up again.
300 mg Wellbutrin - definitely a lot worse. Felt wired, bitchy, closest I've ever come to wanting to "break shit" again. Never did, by the way - but a few times, felt like having a shouting outburst or throwing a wrench. Counted to 10 instead.
Nothing - for 5 weeks, I "dried out" to see what would happen. Result - back to the same 'ol blah-depression of the last few years. Nothing like the anxiety, pain, etc. of the October-November, but just the plain 'ol "fuck it" mentality that helped get me into the divorce in the frist place. Bills piled up, house got messy, work got shitty.
(Last few blog entries were from that time....)
50 mg Zoloft - things started easing up again, slowly got a handle on stuff.
100 mh Zoloft - present day. Been on this now for about a week and a half, so not sure yet how it might improve over the 50, but, feel about the same as the Prozac. Slight odd side effects - the ones that RHA doesn't complain about, again. Could be worse!


Health-wise...not losing weight anymore, still sitting at the "lost 60lbs" mark. That sounds great - and yeah, I guess it is - but I really do have at least 30-40 more to lose...and not to hit my "ideal" weight, either, but to hit a weight I feel should be right for me but is still about 15 lbs over the "ideal" weight I get by the various charts, etc. But...not gaining any either, still eating better than I was, but not as good I as did for awhile there. Bad habits and bad foods crept back in, and portions sizes are up. But still, no fast food (pizza, chinese, and turkey subs with no cheese or mayo don't count!!) since October, so, yeah, better.


So...yeah. All in all, things're good. Sorry I don't blog it much anymore. I keep saying, "Yeah, I gotta start doing that again..." and maybe I will this time. Now that everything else is sorta coming together again I may give it a try. I did enjoy being able to SEE my progress through things via the blog, and I'm a little bit bummed I left a 4 month "hole" here now where I can't really see any changes.

If I'd been blogging all along, might have helped figure out the medication issues better, sooner, if nothing else.


So, there you go. An update. Check in, if you're an old "regular" commentor, let the rest of us know how you're doin'.

JD the BH

Peak Oil is Now....

As I've been saying for a few years now, and even mentioned on this blog a time or two...

It's here.

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=1894&e=3&u=/ap/20050529/ap_on_bi_ge/oil_gone


There is no point in denying this like some people insist on doing with global warming and other "doomsday" topics, because they are eternal optimists or self-decepting pollyannas.

The only thing to debate is if it's the end of the world, or just a turning point for humanity.


My bet is on the former, but hey, anything's possible, maybe we WILL discover cold (or any other feasible) fusion yet.

I really do think America's only hope really is to turn energy independance into the next Apollo project. Maybe now that the general public will start to become aware of the reality of peak oil, that can happen.

Call your congresspeople. Well, call your neighbors first and explain it to them.

mine...Mine...MINE!

Woot.

As of 4:39pm, 5/27/05, the last payment has been made...





Yeah, ok, I know 'till I get the title in the mail, it may not really be official, but the money's outta my bank account so that's good enough for me. :)

Still only has 26000 miles on it. Probably nobody will BELIEVE me when I try to sell it, I'll be accused of odometer shenanigans.

For the motorhead crowd, that's 2000 GT 'vert with the following mods:

Kenny Brown subframes w/seat braces
Steeda Tri-ax shifter
Bassani (legal) X-pipe
Bassani catback exhaust w/resonators removed
3.73 ring & pinion set
Nitto 555 Drag Radials
K&N, silencer removed, homemade CAI ducting to filter housing.


Nothing major, to be sure, but fun enough. Squeaked out a 14.0 @ 99.7 as it's best run, certainly nothing impressive there either but not bad for a big fat 'vert with a novice driver on street legal tires...


Anyway, the score:

Ford Credit: 0
TheBadHusband: 1

:)

Hmm. So, I did get SOME ironic impact on my anniversary...

That was fast. Child support hearing was just back on 5/11, and I got the order already.

Could have been worse. I'm losing about...hmm....15% off the net takehome of my biweekly check.

-shrug-

Happy Anniversary. LOL.

I can afford it, so I'm not really bitching. I DO worry what will happen when (I don't say "if" anymore) I lose my job, though. I am really burnt out there, not really performing for shit, taking 4x longer to get things done than is proper, and I just can't summon the energy to care. All in all a bad combination.

I can afford 15% off my takehome right now, but if my takehome drops to half what it is now, I'll be living in a fuckin' cardboard box.

Not sure if I ever explained this, but while I have a pretty well paying job, I'm a self-made person, worked up from the $10/hour level. When this job tanks, I'm not going to get another one that pays this. I have no degree in what I do. Experience counts, but not enough to get me even 70% of what I'm earning now. This could get ugly.

Does it cut both ways, I wonder, though....if EL Skanke loses/quits her job, she doesn't get to cry poor and get more support, does she? Have to ask that. Doesn't seem fair, if so.

OK well enough bitching. This also was funny, a friend sent me our Capricorn horoscope for the day - not that I put anything in THAT, but it's amusting anyway - and there was something in there about it being a good day to sign a contract, and also, "It's a great day to get married!"

(When I see shit like that, I figure, the horoscope writer has a friend getting married today...)

Anyway, made my deadline at work at least. Took an all-nighter to do it, but, it's done. Got decent reviews in walkthrough, too. So it ain't all bad.

Interesting milestone. And some ramble...ok, a lotta ramble...

Don't misunderstand...my posting this might seem like it bugs me, or I protest it doesn't bug me but subconciously it does, but...really...as far as I can tell on any level, it doesn't, but it IS an interesting milestone...

This woulda been my 5th wedding anniversary. :) Well actually it still is, as we're not divorced yet, but, might as well be.

I was kinda hoping the property agreement at least would have been done this week so I could have gone in and signed that today, but, her lawyer sucks too bad and hasn't gotten the simplest little revision done and to mine yet.


Another funny moment was last week in the courthouse for the child support conference - maybe I already blogged this I don't recall - but at one point EL made a comment about the construction going on at the courthouse, and both attorneys were like, "Oh yeah, it's really annoying, but only if you come here as often as we do."

To which I made some offhand comment about, yeah, let's HOPE the average person doesn't spend a lot of time there. (It's the county government center, county jail, etc. all rolled into one. Not a place you wanna have to be at a lot, y'know?)

Well on the way out, it occurred to me - the LAST time I was there, was the day El Skank and I got our marriage license. :)

And, I ALSO got my CCW permit at the same time. I always thought that was a little amusing, y'know, that I got the paper giving us the marriage permit and the permit to carry a handgun at the same time.

It didn't occur to me 'till later that week that - ooops! - that meant that my CCW Permit had expired. Funny thing, it was almost 5 years to the day - permit expired on 5/12 and the conference was on 5/11...meaning I musta got the permit/marriage license on 5/11/00.

Funny thing, life, eh?

Anyway, scary thing was I didn't check that 'till 5/13, meaning I'd been illegally carrying for 3 days. PROBABLY a cop would've given me the benefit of the doubt if I'd been pulled over or something, 'cuz I would have just handed over the permit without even thinking about it, and only AFTER the cop noticed (if he even did) it was expired would I realize I probably could have just said nothing and been fine. But you don't mess around with cops and CCW, if ya get pulled over carrying, you damn well hand that permit over and tell the cop you're packing... Not that I get pulled over often, twice in the 10 years I've had the CCW I think.

Wish I'd thought of it at the time, I'd have stopped down to the Sherriff's office and renewed the CCW while I was there for the support conference.

That woulda been some weird bookend-closure, eh? Only thing that would have been better, like I said, is if today woulda been the day we'd have signed the property agreement.

It may yet be the day RHA gets -her- divorce decree int he mail, she's been expecting it for like a month. At least that would have a tiny bit of amusing irony to it. :)



More amusing developments w/El Skank this week, but I'll have to blog it later. Suffice to say she freaked out because she found out I was emailing The Other Guy from a fake email account, messing with his mind. Dunno if I'd ever blogged that either, that was a few months ago, hadn't even botheredin the last 2 months but the whole "did you still want to try counselling?" conversation had popped it back into the front of my thought processes, so I'd renewed my mindfuck on him earlier this week. Sent an email to the address he pretends is his wife's but that he actually checks all the time. So I knew I was actually sending it to HIM, but I wrote, "Hey, OGWife, you don't know me, and this isn't a joke or anything, we need to talk about something important...can you email me back so I know you are really OG's Wife, before I get into details?" LOL. I KNEW he would read it, and he'd freak thinking I was finally going to rat him out. :)


BUT...He freaked, went to EL, threatened her job, scared her, and ironically, ALSO offered her money if she'd talk to me, and offered ME money (that is, told her to tell me he'd give me money) to leave it alone, etc. Bizarre, eh?

And if I'm not mistaken, that's gotta be illegal, isn't it? Soliciting to bribe like that? Or between private individuals is that not a crime? (Sara? 'lil pro bono here?? :) )

So anyway, poor thing, I actually pitied her...he had her all freaked out, and she called me threatening to "call it all off and go after everything, JD, unless you sign a nondisclosure agreement!" (yeah right) But funny thing was, I calmed her down by explaining I never had any intention (I really don't, anymore) of telling his wife but I KNEW he'd read that email, and that she needed to realize if she'd broken off the affair, and he was threatening her job (thru work email again, of course, what a moron...) then SHE could get HIM fired in a heartbeat, have him on civil charges, the whole deal. By the end of the convo, it was funny, I had her totally plotting to fuck him over worse than I ever would have.

What a jerk. Really.

Oh, and he told her that he and his wife were planning to start a family. Ugh. I really think she SHOULD tell his wife, but obviously, I'm layin' low again and not stirring up that pot anymore. Once the agreement is signed, though, I think I will call the fucker up and spell it out for him...tell his wife, or I will, and try to get him to put his offer of "hush money" in written/email form, and then explain the facts of life to him - tell his wife, leave EL Skank alone, or I'd blow it all outta the water - the harrassment at work, the affair to his wife, and the bribery to the police. (again, if that' seven illegal, I gotta ask my lawyer next session we have.)


Hmm did I say I'd blog about it later? That's pretty much it. I'm in a hurry and probably rambling/more disjointed than normal, so may think of more details to add later.

Suffice it to say, it wasn't worth riling up EL Skank about it all, so I just got her to realize I was actually on her side where fucking with OG's life was concerned....was kinda funny, she admitted some pretty stupid things to me that she shouldn't have.

Saddest thing of all, most telling of her self esteem point of view, and I don't think she even realized when she said this what she was REALLY saying, but when I told her that I knew someother people he dated, and mentioned them by name (remember, RHA's close friend worked there with EL and OG at the same place) she said, "Yeah, that sounds like his type, fat and ugly...." and she laughed, and said, "he's such a loser, that's what he goes after."

Yeah, EL. Whatever you say.

I MUST be making some nice mental progress, because I didn't even point out the obvious about that statement, just let it roll by.

Poor, stupid EL. NOW do you all still think I'm just a smug bastard for having pity and contempt for her? Yeah, she might have a problem with my "superior attitude" at times, but the fact is in this case, that I think my feelings of condescending pity towards here are valid.


Blah, I'm really rambling. Should point out I've been up on an all-nighter at work here, publishing deadline is at 3PM EST...6 1/2 hours from now. I've been here since 11am Thursday, it's 7:30AM Friday now. :) Good thing I rarely drink coffee, 'cuz that means it works for me when I need it to.

Plus, it helps to be on Concerta for the ADD, 'cuz I don't take it on weekends, which means I always have a few extra doses to use on days/nights like this. :)

(Concerta = time released Ritalin. Perfect stay-awake drug really...low impact, low dose slowly released over 8 hours, just enough to keep you from wanting to sleep, but not enough to make ya all speedy. Any rambling in this post is caused by fatigue, not speed. :) )

So, ok, off to finish my documents. Happy Friday, all...

Yeah, right...

If I'd not been so surprised by the comment, I would have been MUCH crueler about it. Maybe that's just as well.

But anyway - so The Skank calls me yesterday, on some pretense or other, I think something like asking how our son was doing - even tho he was spending his first night with me in like 4 days, I might add - and in the middle of the conversation apropros of nothing says, "So, were you still interested in marriage counseling?"

My reply was a stunned, "What....are you kidding?"

Skank: "No."

Me: "No, sorry, that's over."

Skank: "Oh, good."

And that was it.

WTF? You have to be kidding. I guess it's another sign she's realized how badly she fucked up, but I can't possibly consider it now. The train has left the station. After what I have seen her do, what I know about her, and how she is.....I could never even consider TRYING again.

Once again, I congratulate myself on spying on her. Sorry I know that annoys some people, but again, had I not known what I know - I'd probably have jumped at it. Thrown away any mental progress I've made, my developing relationship with RHA, my self-esteem, and tried to "reconcile" and never known even one tenth of what a terrible, duplitious, dirty, downright crazy and truly slutty whore The Skank really was. Ewww.

You MIGHT say, "But wouldn't you and The Boy have been better off not knowing, if it meant you could reconcile and have a nice life together, getting past all this and living better because of it?"

Yeah. You might say that. And you might think it's a good idea for a person to go through life deluded as to what kind of a person they are really attached to. No thanks. I know what I know and I'm happy.


So anyway - yeah. If I'd known that was coming, I think I might have been a bit crueler about it. Something more like, "Oh, now that you've been thrown away by your one night stands, and you realize how pathetic your life will be from here on out, and see you made a mistake in crushing my emotions, self-esteem and telling me I was a horrible abuser and violent maniac - NOW that you decide it's in your best interests to stay with me, you want me to forgive and forget and let you back into my life so you can do it all again someday? And maybe give me chlamydia or HPV or something worse in the bargain? No thanks....good luck with the married guy and the one-night stands you meet on the Internet, and when you look at yourself in the mirror, remember that 6 months ago I was willing to put up with being the cuckold for the sake of saving our family, but YOU were saying things like, "Anything that makes me this happy, can't be wrong." Sorry. "

Yeah, something like that. Or maybe not. All in all I guess i'm happier with myself I handled it with more class, even though it was out of surprise. For the best I suppose.

Hmm, ok, quickie...

I just re-read that post from April 17th, which was the one where when I tried to publish, I realized - the blog was broken. Noticed a couple things that need new commenting on...so...

To update-the-update:

RHA and I are still going strong. It's amazing. Sure, it COULD still be a "rebound" but it's over 3 months now and really doesn't seem like it. Just keeps getting better, to the point I'm pretty sure once I own my house my only intention will be to clean it up, fix the lawn, and flip it over for a profit and move in with her. I mean, I'll have plenty of nest-egg savings in case of tragedy down the road, never be a problem to rent an apartment on the spur of the moment should things not work out, but that's just pragmatism talking - I'm sure it WILL work out.


And, Wellbutrin didn't work. I'm on no drugs now, and, I find myself a little bitchier, edgier, etc.

So, I guess the Prozac WAS working. I wasn't thrilled with the side effects but now on looking back over the last 6 months.....it was having an effect. The exact sort of nebulous, "is it or isn't it making a difference?" kind of effect it is SUPPOSED to have. To wit: I was feeling just overall a bit more on-track, emotionally balanced, and reasonable. So...while I'll go ahead and let the Wellbutrin continue to purge outta my system and stay off the Prozac 'till next months' appointment with the shrink, I think I'm gonna ask to try it again, staying down at the 30mg level.

I DID have an annoying side effect or two, but overall, they were just annoying. RHA didn't mind them a bit, as the main one was a complete inability to...

...no, not inability to get it up...LOL....she (and I!) would definitely have minded THAT! Nope, just shows I'm a contrary man who always does the opposite...as, regardless of the usual "sexual side effect" of Prozac - impotence - my problem was a complete inability to...

...um, friends, family, and assorted red headed goddesses might wish to skip a paragraph or two...

...anyway, complete inability to have an orgasm even after 2 hours of constant, um, trying... Which as you might imagine gets a little frustrating.

Not that I (or RHA!) would have traded that for the opposite problem, but, nonetheless I have a new perspective as to why some of you women want to fake it after awhile just to get it the hell over with. :)


On the other hand, QUITE the calorie burner.


Unfortunately weight loss has levelled out. Need to exercise more and eat better. I let that slide a bit, things almost going TOO well so I had no more angst to see me thru the hunger pangs. :) I'm NOT gaining any weight back, but, not losing anymore either.


Work is the only problem. Not goin' so hot really. :( Long story update on that later.

The Boy is doing fine. Really fine. Now if we could just get that potty training thing down pat...

Wow. The 'blog is back/fixed... Bet you thought I was gone for good, eh?

Well, what do you know.

I really don't have time to update, but, the blog was totally fucking hosed-blown for the last month or so.

I could write posts, and hit publish, and they'd kinda/sorta save...but I couldn't republish the index, so, nothing ever updated.

I kept getting the ever-so-helpful error, "There were errors. Contact Blogger support."

Which I would do, only to receive the form letter back saying, "Sorry, we can't read all Emails, so here are some self-help references..."

Dude. I WRITE curriculum to train technical support people. I think I know how to read a known issues list before I complain. I think I know how to do my own homework, etc...


So anyway, I emailed them 2 or 3 times, never got anything but the form response.

Finally today, on a break, I decided to take the shotgun approach. I changed almost every blog setting, and voila...now I can publish.

I dunno if it was the template, or the # of posts on the main page, or the quick links, or the edit link, or the header, or the little hit counter, or what the hell the problem was, but it appears to be fixed.

Scroll down, you can read a post I tried to put up like a month ago. :)

I do NOT have time to update now, suffice to say all is mainly well. But now that it's working again, I'll try to pop in an update tonight.

Divorce very close to final. I'm betting the property settlement will be signed/notarized any day now. Irony might be if it's done on 5/20, as that is (I'd say 'would have been" but technically we're still married) our 5th anniversary. LOL.

To address the main points that always seemed of interest: Skank is still skankin' as far as I know. I really don't bother spying at all anymore, which is one reason the blog got so boring... Oh, and I haven't told the guy's wife anything yet, either.


OK other updates will have to wait 'till later.

But, as you see, I ain't dead.

So what's new...

Well, life goes on. Obviously, I've mellowed to the point where a daily blog/rant isn't needed anymore.

Occasional stupid shit still happens with EL, but I don't really get bent about it anymore. Just don't care.

She's messed up, of course, but I've finally accepted that it's just....Not. My. Problem.


I maintain again - if I'd not spied on her as I did, as much as I did, I might actually be stupid enough now to get back with her. Not that she's asked, luckily (since I don't want to turn her down, and piss her off at me) for me. She DID make that weird apology overture a couple weeks back, but it wasn't repeated.

Although, last week we had this chat were she was saying we shouldn't just pick up/drop off The Boy at each other's house or her parents', but instead should meet on weekends doing some sort of "family thing" w/the 3 of us, and then he'd go home with the other parent.

Yeah, I'm niave, I was like "ok whatever" just wanting things to be smooth. It took other people pointing it out to me to make me realize that was probably her way of wanting to get some time in front of me, either to mess with my head, or, to try and "get back together."

Which ain't happening.

I don't do even the most minimal spying on her anymore by the way. It finally wore off, but, as I've said before - it also makes the blog a lot less interesting and that's probably why nobody reads/comments anymore. :)

I just got back from a weeklong bix trip out west, it was nice to be home, The Boy was glad to see me and I was glad to see him, we had a fun day today...


Cleaning my house continues apace...several rooms now spotless, waiting for me to rent a carpet shampooer.

Roommate situation all fell flat, no takers, but I'm managing and next month my car is paid off which is another $300/mo for me, that will make the difference.

Legally, we're down to the fine print - the property agreement was done, but there were some wording difficulties and she'd neglected to list my stocks/options (though she DID list HERs!) as an itemized list, so, we sent that back. I don't anticipate any problems though so as soon as that paper comes back and is signed, as far as I'm concerned, it's over.

The custody stipulation is signed and notarized. Basically, it's 50/50 physical and legal custody, with all the standard boilerplate. Other than Christmas, his birthday, and Mother's Day/Fathers's Day, we didn't bother listing any particular details beyond, "JD gets him M/T nights, EL W/Th/Fr nights, and we alternate weekends." So, many thanks to, I forget who (the fathers' rights advocate?) gave me that suggestion.

Once that property agreement is signed, I'd be free to finally tell the other guy's wife, or her family, or otherwise fuck up her world...but...LOL, as I expected, I just don't give a shit anymore. I still think the poor OG's wife should know, but, I doubt I'll tell her now, 'cuz I just don't care.

Also, the stupid twit EL has put in the property agreement the standard boilerplate, "both parties have already divided material posessions to their mutual satisfaction."

Except, we haven't. ALL her goddamn shit is still in the house, with the exception of the furniture she took, and the clothes I bagged up and dropped on her...all her knicknacky crap, wall stuff like pics/framed prints/posters....tons of kitchenware/silverware/cooking supplies/tablewear, garage full of stuff...etc. All still here. I've asked her THREE TIMES to come take what she wants, or at least, make a list of what she wants to take at a later date, and she hasn't.

So, fuck her, once that paper's signed, what I want (Disney knick-nacks, Xmas ornaments, etc.) I'm keeping, and the rest is going on the curb...I guess I'll have my lawyer send her a letter with an ultimatum date, "pick up by XXX or it'll be given to charity/garbage." I want this shit outta my place...

RHA says it shows EL is still in denial about everything....I think she's just lazy/doesn't care...but either way, I want it gone.


Changed medications - the Prozac never seemed to do shit, and, had annoying side effects (though, not the usual "sexual side effects" I'm glad to say... ;) ) so I made my doc drop that and put me on Wellbutrin, which helps ADD as well as appetite and antidepressant. Seems to be making a difference that I like....and all the side effects are quite beneficial, actually.....

The Boy continues to be fine, none of this has made much impression on him, so that's good.


I think that's it. Oh, the RHA thing is still fine and dandy. :)

In the words of Granny Weatherwax, "I ain't dead."

Really, I'm not.

Busy? Yeah.

Bored? Yeah.

Nothing much to talk about? Yeah.

That's about it really...sure, stuff is going on, not all good/not all bad, but I just haven't had time to update anymore. Work is hell, deadlines and I'm behind and still struggling to keep my head above water there.

Personal life is fine. RHA and I are still a couple, stronger than ever.

EL is still a ridiculous skank and I don't even bother anymore. See, you all said "get over it" but now that I did, there's nothing left to read about! Now that I've got zero interest in spying on her, or even giving two shits what she's up to or doing with her life, nothing much interesting to write about. :)

Legally stuff is fine. Property agreement and custody stipulation are with my attorney now, the drafts were basically OK with me, I have a few minor details I'd like to work out with EL Skank and get changed by my attorney, but I'm betting both will be signed before May 1st.

I'm away on biz next week, going to Colorado, which actually MIGHT mean I'll have a bit more time to update.

Basically, I"m busy as hell with work, trying to clean up my house, juggle a new girlfriend and The Boy and legal and medical and therapy appointments, and I've even got a hobby at the moment that doesn't involve computers...much. Eventually I'll post about that when I've something to show for it.

So, that's about it. All is basically OK, just no time to update and nothing much to talk about anymore. Once the paperwork is signed, this blog will be locked down and all updates will be on the new one, which is still out there, and which I'll email those of you who'd asked to be emailed the address once I'm up and running on it.

Hopefully I'll get a few mroe updates in here before then, but no promises. It's that busy/boring being me right now! :)

JD the BH