A Note on the Blog
Hey all, just a bit of clarification.
I don't mean this to be overly defensive, but it'll probably sound that way. Then again, it also is exactly what I'm trying to say...
This blog serves, often, as the first place I go when I need to let out a little anger, put some thoughts into words to help them coalesce, etc.
I do not mind the comments. They help.
But, when I get ones like "You are such an angry asshole" (paraphrased) please try to keep that in mind. I AM an angry asshole when I make the blog entry.
I do the blog entry BECAUSE I'm the angry asshole, and don't want to be the angry asshole to my wife, or a friend, or whatever. I don't even want to be the angry asshole sitting here stewing on it. I wanna write it down, so I can read it back later and say, "Hmm, yeah, you weren't rational at that time" OR, possibly, "24 hours later in retrospect, that still looks like a good idea or a valid point of view."
As such, yeah - I was pretty pissed off when I wrote I was going to fight for full custody over a personal ad for a threesome. Not really gonna matter, is it? But c'mon, you read an email like that, and see how you'd react 15 minutes later, before you judge me, eh?
And yeah, I know, if I didn't read the email, I wouldn't have to get angry, or depressed, or heartbroken like that. I know. That's the thing that makes it possible for me to NOT read it ALL the time. I really do try.
Though I admit, now I'm watching the URL history closely looking for the personal ad. Nah, not really thinking I can use it "in court" but it's just more proof for IF I decide to tell the OG's wife, or her family, or whatever. OR for no other reason than to read it myself and know it's true.
Petty? Yeah. Wait another 24 hours, maybe I won't give a shit at all. That's kinda the point of the blog, remember?
Anyway, I'm not offended, or angry, or saying anyone shouldn't comment. Just offering my perspective. I don't like how this situation is bringing out these actions on my part either, I thought I was better than this. But walk a mile in my shoes before saying you'd never read an Email or look in a car, if your partner of 9 years was lying to you so badly about things.
All I'm trying to say is, let's not lose sight of the fact that this is a stream-of-conciousness (says so right in the headline!) blog and so things I write here might be emotional, irrational, and subject to change upon reflection.
Thanks.
As for this weekend - nothing to talk about really. Don't miss the Geminid meteor shower tomorrow night if you've got clear skies after local midnight.
Oh, well, Punky and I do have a "date" and yes we are calling it that. No I'm not moving too fast or getting crazy like EL over things. I've also been making some other friends and approaches to socialize further next week. Yes, with single women.
No revenge affairs - not that it would really be called that, as she has filed, so I'm seperated now and can do whatever. And I no longer have any illusions this marriage can be reconciled. But that's not what this is about.
I don't mean this to be overly defensive, but it'll probably sound that way. Then again, it also is exactly what I'm trying to say...
This blog serves, often, as the first place I go when I need to let out a little anger, put some thoughts into words to help them coalesce, etc.
I do not mind the comments. They help.
But, when I get ones like "You are such an angry asshole" (paraphrased) please try to keep that in mind. I AM an angry asshole when I make the blog entry.
I do the blog entry BECAUSE I'm the angry asshole, and don't want to be the angry asshole to my wife, or a friend, or whatever. I don't even want to be the angry asshole sitting here stewing on it. I wanna write it down, so I can read it back later and say, "Hmm, yeah, you weren't rational at that time" OR, possibly, "24 hours later in retrospect, that still looks like a good idea or a valid point of view."
As such, yeah - I was pretty pissed off when I wrote I was going to fight for full custody over a personal ad for a threesome. Not really gonna matter, is it? But c'mon, you read an email like that, and see how you'd react 15 minutes later, before you judge me, eh?
And yeah, I know, if I didn't read the email, I wouldn't have to get angry, or depressed, or heartbroken like that. I know. That's the thing that makes it possible for me to NOT read it ALL the time. I really do try.
Though I admit, now I'm watching the URL history closely looking for the personal ad. Nah, not really thinking I can use it "in court" but it's just more proof for IF I decide to tell the OG's wife, or her family, or whatever. OR for no other reason than to read it myself and know it's true.
Petty? Yeah. Wait another 24 hours, maybe I won't give a shit at all. That's kinda the point of the blog, remember?
Anyway, I'm not offended, or angry, or saying anyone shouldn't comment. Just offering my perspective. I don't like how this situation is bringing out these actions on my part either, I thought I was better than this. But walk a mile in my shoes before saying you'd never read an Email or look in a car, if your partner of 9 years was lying to you so badly about things.
All I'm trying to say is, let's not lose sight of the fact that this is a stream-of-conciousness (says so right in the headline!) blog and so things I write here might be emotional, irrational, and subject to change upon reflection.
Thanks.
As for this weekend - nothing to talk about really. Don't miss the Geminid meteor shower tomorrow night if you've got clear skies after local midnight.
Oh, well, Punky and I do have a "date" and yes we are calling it that. No I'm not moving too fast or getting crazy like EL over things. I've also been making some other friends and approaches to socialize further next week. Yes, with single women.
No revenge affairs - not that it would really be called that, as she has filed, so I'm seperated now and can do whatever. And I no longer have any illusions this marriage can be reconciled. But that's not what this is about.
posted by Fensty at 1:36 AM
4 Comments:
I think the reason for the comments are to make you appreciate just how angry, bitter, and self-righteous you are being. You can't release something you don't know that you possess.
Only by seeing those negative emotions for what they are can you move past them. Yes, you put a lot of them in this blog, but they are there. Living in you like little demons that gnaw at your soul.
If you're like the vast majority of men, you repress those feelings. You often won't take ownership of them.
I'd imagine most of the people who comment aren't trying to hurt you. We're just trying to make you understand that it's not you or EL that are important. It's your child. Your child will be unable to comprehend or deal with the scars from this time in his life. It will take a lifetime of working with your child to help heal some of the conflict that will exist in your child's soul.
God's peace.
Anon:
Yep - I think that is too, and I didn't mean to sound all snippy about it. In fact that's exactly why I have the blog open, and for comments.
As you see I often ask, "Am I nuts here?" or "Does that sound right?" and so, yes - I am definitely asking those questions in good faith, and not just rhetorically.
So, keep up the comments. Like I said, I'm a bit defensive, just don't want it to appear the the personality in most of these blog entries is the "real" me.
And I appreciate my baser emotions being pointed out, that's why I do this, it's all about the therapy and self improvement.
JD the BH
JD:
I'm going to try holding back on my comments right now... I'm used to dealing with a lot of people who are in bizarre and stressful situations... and offering them my 2 cents worth...
I realise that what you're saying is most of the time an off the cuff reaction, and a venting stream of conciousness.... but I also realise that my reaction to it is probably not what you need to hear cause being a reasonable person as you are, 24 hours later your perspective will likely be different, whether I comment or not.
But just in case you care, I'm not judging... if I judged every person I met who made a bad decision in their life, who the heck would want to hire me some day in the future? Sur not someone accused of a criminal offence, or in the middle of a bitter divorce, or so on and so forth. I'm going to cut back on commenting, cause I don't want to put you on the defensive, but please know that anything I've said wasn't to judge you but just to offer you a perspective different than your own....
Sara:
Nope. Don't miss the point - comment all you want. I WANT the comments. I ask for them to keep me rational and point out when I'm being an ass.
And yours were never the ones I was thinking about anyway. Your legal advice was the clearheadedest comment I got on that other thread, it helped a lot.
I realized a 75% chance of winning full custody still meant a 25% of LOSING full custody, when 50/50 joint was a "sure thing." Why would I mess with that? If her or her mother goes wacko at a later date, I can just petition the court for a re-hearing or whatever you legal types call that. :)
Anyway comment away! This post was just a little defensive as I was starting to worry people thought I was this big an asshole ALL the time. That's not really the case.
JD
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