Weekend's Events
Well, nothing negative really happened this weekend.
I sorta think she had him over here Saturday night, there are some signs that point to it, but fuck it, what does it matter? I already knew I can't trust her. I THOUGHT it might be nice if we could have, as the websites and stuff put it, "an agreement based on mutual respect to honor certain boundaries" but I think that's a pipe dream.
A friend I was just chatting with helped me figure that out - OBVIOUSLY she can't be trusted to honor MARRIAGE VOWS, what's the big deal about saying, "Yeah I won't bring him here..." and then bringing him here...y'know?
But, I guess it's the control freak in me.
Anyway - the weekend. The Boy had a great time, and my sister really seemed to enjoy spending time with him too. I've actually decided I think I'll make HER the beneficiary of all my insurances and things, if anything would happen to me, before my son is 18, so she can keep it in trust for him. She's already his godmother so it seems to make sense. Ditto, I'd like her to take over my "custody" in the same case. No idea if that's legal but I'll be asking my lawyer.
He enjoyed playing with her dogs, and cat (we have 2 cats of our own, but a new animal is always fun for him) and various toys she's got around the place. It rained all weekend, so we didn't do much other than just hang out, went out to dinner last night, today went to the Danbury Mall where he could ride the carousel and check out the pet store, toy store, and stuff.
I did hit a bookstore and grabbed two relationship books, none that were recommended here, I'll hit the big Borders here before I go, though.
When I got home, I admit, I snooped around. She covered my webcam, LOL, but I expected that - she's not stupid and she knows how sneaky I am. So I'm not going to bother with that trick when I leave again, in fact, I'll not even say anything or move the stuff she put in front of it, let her think she was wrong and I didn't have it on at all.
There were some pretty obvious signs that she was either out with him, or had him here. It's nothing I didn't expect but depressing anyway.
We didn't have any arguments or anything, though she again said I'm foolish for thinking we're not getting a divorce. I just told her I'm eternally optimistic.
Another change of plans - I just decided I'd rather spend time driving IN Florida than driving TO Florida, so I just got off the phone with Delta, I cashed in some frequent flier miles for a round trip ticket to Fort Myers, whcih is close to Naples where I'm headed. That was free.
Then renting a car down in Naples (convertible Mustang, of course, though it'll be the lame V6 version) is still cheaper than the gas and hotels if I drove down, or at least a zero-sum. So I'm just gonna do that. Get more sun and sand time, less time driving through "red states." :) So that should be nice, I wanted to drive my own car but hell, I did forget how bad it is on gas, how loud it is with the racing exhaust, and how if I really want to drive to clear my mind, driving in Florida is probably more fun than just driving on the WAY to Florida...
So, anyway...I guess that's that. I'll be home a little bit longer this week than I thought, not leaving 'till Thursday now, so some time to talk to EL and start putting together some basic divorce agreement stuff. She still maintains we'll do everything "amicable" in that, so we'll see.
One thought that just struck me...she says she doesn't want my son growing up thinking "temper tantrums" are normal. Does she want him to grow up thinking DIVORCE is "normal"?? That you just run away when things get rough without fighting for what's right, or at least, trying to see if there's a better way?
-sigh-
I sorta think she had him over here Saturday night, there are some signs that point to it, but fuck it, what does it matter? I already knew I can't trust her. I THOUGHT it might be nice if we could have, as the websites and stuff put it, "an agreement based on mutual respect to honor certain boundaries" but I think that's a pipe dream.
A friend I was just chatting with helped me figure that out - OBVIOUSLY she can't be trusted to honor MARRIAGE VOWS, what's the big deal about saying, "Yeah I won't bring him here..." and then bringing him here...y'know?
But, I guess it's the control freak in me.
Anyway - the weekend. The Boy had a great time, and my sister really seemed to enjoy spending time with him too. I've actually decided I think I'll make HER the beneficiary of all my insurances and things, if anything would happen to me, before my son is 18, so she can keep it in trust for him. She's already his godmother so it seems to make sense. Ditto, I'd like her to take over my "custody" in the same case. No idea if that's legal but I'll be asking my lawyer.
He enjoyed playing with her dogs, and cat (we have 2 cats of our own, but a new animal is always fun for him) and various toys she's got around the place. It rained all weekend, so we didn't do much other than just hang out, went out to dinner last night, today went to the Danbury Mall where he could ride the carousel and check out the pet store, toy store, and stuff.
I did hit a bookstore and grabbed two relationship books, none that were recommended here, I'll hit the big Borders here before I go, though.
When I got home, I admit, I snooped around. She covered my webcam, LOL, but I expected that - she's not stupid and she knows how sneaky I am. So I'm not going to bother with that trick when I leave again, in fact, I'll not even say anything or move the stuff she put in front of it, let her think she was wrong and I didn't have it on at all.
There were some pretty obvious signs that she was either out with him, or had him here. It's nothing I didn't expect but depressing anyway.
We didn't have any arguments or anything, though she again said I'm foolish for thinking we're not getting a divorce. I just told her I'm eternally optimistic.
Another change of plans - I just decided I'd rather spend time driving IN Florida than driving TO Florida, so I just got off the phone with Delta, I cashed in some frequent flier miles for a round trip ticket to Fort Myers, whcih is close to Naples where I'm headed. That was free.
Then renting a car down in Naples (convertible Mustang, of course, though it'll be the lame V6 version) is still cheaper than the gas and hotels if I drove down, or at least a zero-sum. So I'm just gonna do that. Get more sun and sand time, less time driving through "red states." :) So that should be nice, I wanted to drive my own car but hell, I did forget how bad it is on gas, how loud it is with the racing exhaust, and how if I really want to drive to clear my mind, driving in Florida is probably more fun than just driving on the WAY to Florida...
So, anyway...I guess that's that. I'll be home a little bit longer this week than I thought, not leaving 'till Thursday now, so some time to talk to EL and start putting together some basic divorce agreement stuff. She still maintains we'll do everything "amicable" in that, so we'll see.
One thought that just struck me...she says she doesn't want my son growing up thinking "temper tantrums" are normal. Does she want him to grow up thinking DIVORCE is "normal"?? That you just run away when things get rough without fighting for what's right, or at least, trying to see if there's a better way?
-sigh-
posted by Fensty at 10:32 PM
3 Comments:
(Mac, your comment posted twice for some reason, so that's why there's one showing deleted)
Anyway...
Yeah, I've also come to that conclusion - that the constant spying and snooping on her has run it's course. There's no longer much point, I don't really need to find out anything new.
I am having a hard time controlling my urges to point out the little stuff, though. But I'm trying not to...hopefully the week away will be the "break" I need to come back with a different attitude.
I admit, I still can't stop obsessing about the fact that cheating fucker will be in my house with her while I'm gone. It bothers me, it really does. He doesn't belong here, even if we are getting a divorce...until someone gets exclusive ownership of the house.
But, anyway...yeah, I'm tryin'. It's good advice, if I can just make myself take it.
As for The Boy, aside from once saying (more to piss off EL than to really talk to him, he really didn't even hear me) "Daddy might not be around so much anymore soon" when I was particularly upset and he was calling for me from the other side of the room...I've never said a word, and don't plan to.
And yes, she grabbed onto that one time (in 7 weeks) as an example of how she's not the only one being hurtful. Please.
This may sound weird considering that I didn't respect my husband (or myself for that matter) not to have an affair, but I did respect him enough not to bring another man into our house.
You don't crap where you eat, and that is exactly what she is doing if she is bringing him into your house.
Learned the Hard Way.
True, but she hasn't impressed me with her logic or restraint thus far.
I mean, she's doing all this crap at work with the Emailing, printing things out, and sitting in the car and on break with the guy, and if THAT'S not crapping where you eat, I don't know what is.
But yeah, I do hope she has enough respect for my dignity to not fuck him in our own bed - even if I'm not sleeping there anymore.
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