Her Mother, Not Content to Have Aided In The Destroying My Marriage, Decides to Destroy My Divorce As Well
So, the last 2 days EL insisted on taking The Boy to her mother's herself in the morning, I didn't think much of it other than I didn't understand why she wasn't letting me help out for a change when I actually could.
I assumed it was because she and her mom had little strategy sessions in the morning or something.
Well, the plan today was for me to pick him up at daycare as usual around 5. But, suddenly, she called me at 8AM this morning, said she had just dropped The Boy off at her mom's, and would I mind picking him up THERE around 2:30.
"Sure, but why? I thought your mom had some meeting early in the morning and was taking him to daycare early..."
She hemmed and hawed for a minute but then came out with it - now, apparently, her mother is terrified (and planting more ideas in EL's head) that I'll go to day care and "steal" my son from there.
Now I ask you - let's set aside for a moment that I AM THE ONE TRYING TO SAVE THIS MARRIAGE, and I'm the one who would completely lose out in doing such a stupid thing, and all that - I ask you: What the FUCK is the difference if I pick him up at her house at 2:30, or day care at 4:30?
These people are insane. Really. It's not me, is it?
To her credit, EL kept saying she knows her mother is nuts, that she trusts me, that she STILL will not listen to her mom and take me to the cleaners, etc...she says she doesn't listen to her mom and so on and so on. I choose to believe EL will TRY to keep doing the "right" thing in this divorce in that aspect, but I also KNOW her mother will keep working on her. EL admits it's already starting with her mom telling her to go for more support, for spouse support, to take my stocks and 401k, etc. EL is going to have to be very, very strong to stand up to the pressure when she tells her mom she's not fighting for any of that, and might even be willing to "defer" her half of the house equity until later.
I have to keep just a little bit of "guilt pressure" on EL and gently reminding her somehow that if she does decide to get ugly, copies of these Emails will be left at her parent's, her pastor's, her friends, and the windshield of every car in the parking lot where she works - oh, and his house, too.
Anyway her answer was, "Well if you picked him up at day care earlier, nobody would know." That's irrefutable logic right there. That 2 or 3 hour head start from Pennsylvania for the Mexican border to start my life as an unemployed, dirt poor fugitive from the law really WOULD make all the difference, now, wouldn't it?
Again, this isn't really EL talking, this is just her saying what her mom said. She asked me nicely to please go along to just make it easy and of course I did - makes me no nevermind to pick him up at her mom's or daycare, and this way we won't go over our weekly 20 hours daycare time budget...so, fine.
I'm playing a tiny little headgame of my own, and taking The Boy to go see The Polar Express at an afternoon matinee. I don't know if he'll be able to handle a whole movie, I suspect not, but I'm gonna try. Because, well, EL and her mom want to take him to see that for his first movie, so fuck 'em, I'm gonna do it. Childish, I know, but dammit, I get one freebie stupid childish move this week, don't I?
In other news - down a total of 45lbs now from where I started.
And - I'm back in the saddle, baby. Drove the roaring V8 Beast Mustang GT 'vert home from the shop with the top down and the exhaust baffles removed.
(I've got this trick racing exhaust, it's got sound resonators you slide into the tailpipes to give it a nice, muted, bass exhaust rumble. But for drag racing, you remove them for max airflow, which of course makes it a bit louder, snarlier, and echoey. I took 'em out for the ride home, LOL, let's rattle some windows in the neighborhood for the first time in months, eh?)
I'm off to Borders to purchase beach reading material now, then to pick up The Boy and try our luck at a full-length movie.
I assumed it was because she and her mom had little strategy sessions in the morning or something.
Well, the plan today was for me to pick him up at daycare as usual around 5. But, suddenly, she called me at 8AM this morning, said she had just dropped The Boy off at her mom's, and would I mind picking him up THERE around 2:30.
"Sure, but why? I thought your mom had some meeting early in the morning and was taking him to daycare early..."
She hemmed and hawed for a minute but then came out with it - now, apparently, her mother is terrified (and planting more ideas in EL's head) that I'll go to day care and "steal" my son from there.
Now I ask you - let's set aside for a moment that I AM THE ONE TRYING TO SAVE THIS MARRIAGE, and I'm the one who would completely lose out in doing such a stupid thing, and all that - I ask you: What the FUCK is the difference if I pick him up at her house at 2:30, or day care at 4:30?
These people are insane. Really. It's not me, is it?
To her credit, EL kept saying she knows her mother is nuts, that she trusts me, that she STILL will not listen to her mom and take me to the cleaners, etc...she says she doesn't listen to her mom and so on and so on. I choose to believe EL will TRY to keep doing the "right" thing in this divorce in that aspect, but I also KNOW her mother will keep working on her. EL admits it's already starting with her mom telling her to go for more support, for spouse support, to take my stocks and 401k, etc. EL is going to have to be very, very strong to stand up to the pressure when she tells her mom she's not fighting for any of that, and might even be willing to "defer" her half of the house equity until later.
I have to keep just a little bit of "guilt pressure" on EL and gently reminding her somehow that if she does decide to get ugly, copies of these Emails will be left at her parent's, her pastor's, her friends, and the windshield of every car in the parking lot where she works - oh, and his house, too.
Anyway her answer was, "Well if you picked him up at day care earlier, nobody would know." That's irrefutable logic right there. That 2 or 3 hour head start from Pennsylvania for the Mexican border to start my life as an unemployed, dirt poor fugitive from the law really WOULD make all the difference, now, wouldn't it?
Again, this isn't really EL talking, this is just her saying what her mom said. She asked me nicely to please go along to just make it easy and of course I did - makes me no nevermind to pick him up at her mom's or daycare, and this way we won't go over our weekly 20 hours daycare time budget...so, fine.
I'm playing a tiny little headgame of my own, and taking The Boy to go see The Polar Express at an afternoon matinee. I don't know if he'll be able to handle a whole movie, I suspect not, but I'm gonna try. Because, well, EL and her mom want to take him to see that for his first movie, so fuck 'em, I'm gonna do it. Childish, I know, but dammit, I get one freebie stupid childish move this week, don't I?
In other news - down a total of 45lbs now from where I started.
And - I'm back in the saddle, baby. Drove the roaring V8 Beast Mustang GT 'vert home from the shop with the top down and the exhaust baffles removed.
(I've got this trick racing exhaust, it's got sound resonators you slide into the tailpipes to give it a nice, muted, bass exhaust rumble. But for drag racing, you remove them for max airflow, which of course makes it a bit louder, snarlier, and echoey. I took 'em out for the ride home, LOL, let's rattle some windows in the neighborhood for the first time in months, eh?)
I'm off to Borders to purchase beach reading material now, then to pick up The Boy and try our luck at a full-length movie.
posted by Fensty at 11:56 AM
4 Comments:
Go and enjoy the movie. You deserve it!
JD,
I'm speaking to you now as a parent myself...I am very concerned about your freaky, nuts-as-hell mother-in-law. You have NO gaurentee that she's content with putting such evil thoughts in El's mind alone. Now, with such everyday access, she may be putting them in your son's mind as well.
You need to tell your lawyer about this stuff. Before it gets WAY out of hand.
Good luck...and I hope you enjoyed the movie!
I don't see what good it will do, but I will mention it to the lawyer. But considering I want things to go smoothly...probably nothing I can do short of petitioning the court to restrict access from her mother to my son, and that would REALLY be counterproductive...
I'll think 'bout it though.
And we both enjoyed the movie. The Boy was great, loved the movie and sat there the whole 2 hours enjoying it.
The lawyer could draw up an agreement that your son goes to day care instead of to grandma's during the day. And that no one---including grandma---may disparage either parent in his presence. I've seen those agreements drawn up, and enforced. You might have to go that route, to protect him.
Good luck on your trip!
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