Friday night - she's "out with friends."
Who knows...maybe she is out with friends. I don't ask, she doesn't tell.
But, regardless, it gives me some time to sit here and keep working on my letter.
Stay tuned for a follow-up with a shorter letter.
I haven't decided if I should just give it to her (after making a copy) or if I should actually mail it registered mail. The attorney did say just giving it to her is good enough, so that's probably all I'll do. Registered mail is such a big deal and will probably get her all worked up.
Unless that's the point...if a mailman shows up at her job, with a registered letter, it may make her suddenly think - shit, I'm being served divorce papers. Would that be good or bad?
I don't mean to play head games, but...well, OK, I guess I do a little. I want to sort of wake her up, make her stop and think and look at the chasm she's standing over. So she doesn't make any rash decisions or whatever...y'know?
But, who am I kidding, it's a 98% chance she's just going to read it once and say, "Yeah, it's over...go ahead and file the papers, skippy."
Actually, best thing to do, would be give it to her and then disappear for a few hours, eh? Just go out shopping or something like that, give her space and time to think it over...maybe even go stay at a hotel.
I thought about that, going away just for a day or two. On very short notice so she doesn't have time to set up a fuck-date at my house, that is. Thing is the time to do that would be the weekend (when he has to be with his own wife) and this one's already too late. Hmm, well, not really. She's going out shopping all day tomorrow, I could be gone when she gets back, and leave the letter here. Come back on Monday night.
Anyone have any thoughts?
But, regardless, it gives me some time to sit here and keep working on my letter.
Stay tuned for a follow-up with a shorter letter.
I haven't decided if I should just give it to her (after making a copy) or if I should actually mail it registered mail. The attorney did say just giving it to her is good enough, so that's probably all I'll do. Registered mail is such a big deal and will probably get her all worked up.
Unless that's the point...if a mailman shows up at her job, with a registered letter, it may make her suddenly think - shit, I'm being served divorce papers. Would that be good or bad?
I don't mean to play head games, but...well, OK, I guess I do a little. I want to sort of wake her up, make her stop and think and look at the chasm she's standing over. So she doesn't make any rash decisions or whatever...y'know?
But, who am I kidding, it's a 98% chance she's just going to read it once and say, "Yeah, it's over...go ahead and file the papers, skippy."
Actually, best thing to do, would be give it to her and then disappear for a few hours, eh? Just go out shopping or something like that, give her space and time to think it over...maybe even go stay at a hotel.
I thought about that, going away just for a day or two. On very short notice so she doesn't have time to set up a fuck-date at my house, that is. Thing is the time to do that would be the weekend (when he has to be with his own wife) and this one's already too late. Hmm, well, not really. She's going out shopping all day tomorrow, I could be gone when she gets back, and leave the letter here. Come back on Monday night.
Anyone have any thoughts?
posted by Fensty at 7:02 PM
3 Comments:
Hmm. OK. Wasn't trying to "run" really, just trying to make it low-pressure, etc.
I'm gonna have to think on that one. I know how she gets. She'll probably want some time alone to read and think about it. Leaving for the weekend might be too much, but I don't think I want to hand it to her and stare at her....that will just make the reaction worse.
Hmm. Still, thanks...it's food for thought!
I agree with Samantha about staying/leaving. Give her "space" by going in another room, going online to panic with us, or outside to work on the car, etc, but be there in case she wants to talk, no matter how unlikely you think that is. If you give her too much space, she might feel like you don't care anymore. Stay close, just not sitting there and staring at her.
My 2 cents, hon.
Take Care,
D
I generally agree with D.
Don't go to a hotel or out of town.
But maybe take The Boy to a movie or play area or Chuck E. Cheese for a couple of hours (letting her know exactly where you will be and when you plan to return).
SH
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