Weird. (Monday Night)
Well, she came home and ate the dinner I made, and that was sorta nice, though she was really tired and didn't want to eat much and then wanted to go to bed right away. Then she didn't. I dunno, man, I dunno...no idea what's going on in her head, she seems to be avoiding the computer, too.
Is she trying to stay away from him? I don't think so because she was at work well past 6:15 again. Is she "on to me?" I'd deserve that and it makes it easier, even though I will still show her how to delete her cache and change her password when we talk about it. But I hate to think she thinks she doesn't have freedom here...I actually leave the room at night so she can computer in peace. And I've had no urge to "check up on her" since the last Email I read, on Friday. I'm done with that.
I know I sound like an addict trying to convince himself, "I won't do it. I'm done. Seriously. Really! I don't want it! No way!" But really, it's true. :)
One small mystery was cleared up, too...at least, maybe. She was very, very paranoid about the trunk of her car. I have no idea why, but Saturday and Sunday, she insisted on getting the heavy stroller in and out of the trunk herself. She'd almost "shoo" me away. Today, she left two CD's sitting on the downstairs table. Madonna's "Erotic" and REO Speedwagon (ohhhh, the Anchower irony!) Hits.
I know I sound all suspicious still. I can't help it - I'm perceptive even when I don't want to be. Am I paranoid? Nah, don't think so. It was OBVIOUS. Something was up with that.
So, anyway...Madonna Erotica and REO Speedwagon...sheesh!! If there's more cliche' "make out" music, it could only be what Vic Damone in "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" suggested: "And - this is important now - whatever you do, make sure to play Side Two of Led Zeppelin 'Four'." (That's a joke, people. Watch the movie.)
So, maybe that's what she was hiding in the trunk....I don't know, but it's as good a guess as any. I don't really much worry about it, like I said I know EVERYTHING I need - or want - to know. I have no desire to sneak or spy anymore...but I'm a detective at heart (I've always wanted to work for our fraud department at work, for example. I LOVE that stuff!!) so I can't help the 'ol brain trying to figure out what she was all paranoid about in the trunk....weird.
This is another thing about why I have no desire to find out anything else, read any mail, any of that crap: I don't NEED to. I'll tell you, for people having an affair, they aren't very good at it. Sure, she's not all that computer saavy so I can't fault her for not clearing a disk cache - that's pretty high tech actually. I use Yahoo mail all the time and never really thought about it myself! And she probably trusts me enough that I wouldn't read it if I could. Which is why I feel all dirty that I did. But I had to know, y'know?
But this guy...man...not smart about it at all! I realized that the #'s in his screen name is most likely his birthday...! So, for a measley $10 I paid one of those people-finder websites, entered his name (which I've known since Monday, you remember?) and got his complete info - home address, home phone #, cellphone #, etc.
Freakin' amazing, and a little scary! All you need is a name and a birthdate.
Try it on yourself - it's free to see how it works, it'll tell you how many addresses it can find for the name/birthdate combo. It only gives you the city/state, you have to pay the $10 to get the "real" info, but I put my name/date in there and it knew EVERY city/state I've lived in since I lived with Mom. Freakin' scary.
http://www.people-finders.ws/?site=6&from=7671
For $40, I coulda got the whole damn deal - car registration, criminal background checks, net worth, mortgates, etc. Not that I'd care, but wow. Who knew stuff like that was so easy and cheap to get? Of course, I'd suggest SHE pay that $40 to really see what she's getting into, if it gets to that point.
The real reason I'm blogging this info? SO that in a week or so, I can show her this, say "See? I've known for weeks all about him...and I've done nothing. And I won't ever do anything. You do what you gotta do, but see, you don't need to be afraid." I just don't want her AFRAID of me. That's so silly and depressing right there. But, it seems like maybe that'll work a little. If she knows I've known all this time, but just let it happen and didn't care...well...maybe that will help her see I DID give her space and I'm NOT someone she needs to be "afraid" of.
Control freak? Yeah, I guess so. Getting the info just make me so calm, I'm sure it is a control thing. Like, I know as much about him as he does about me. So, I can relax now.
I would NEVER call the guy, or his wife, or go to his house, or ANYTHING. I won't Email the dude. Why would I do that? It would drive her right into his arms, sure as shit.
I have to sit back and let it play out to the end, nothing else I can do.
And I really have...the last 3 days, we haven't talked about it at all. I think today I did ask her if she'd please not "make fun" of me at work to him. You know, I don't want her being all, "Listen to what the doofus tried to do yesterday to impress me - he cooked dinner! Big deal, it sucked!" I don't want that, I admit it - it would hurt my pride and trash my dignity. Aside from that, though...and of course the discussion that came up when she knew I found her condom supply...well...I've been good. No bothering her about it at all.
Yeah, I'm talking about it in this blog, but that's it. I haven't nagged EL about it since Friday night. That's the point...blog here, call my friends and family when I'm really tourqued up and need to talk it out a bit, and leave her alone. So far, the last 3 days...it's working.
Is she trying to stay away from him? I don't think so because she was at work well past 6:15 again. Is she "on to me?" I'd deserve that and it makes it easier, even though I will still show her how to delete her cache and change her password when we talk about it. But I hate to think she thinks she doesn't have freedom here...I actually leave the room at night so she can computer in peace. And I've had no urge to "check up on her" since the last Email I read, on Friday. I'm done with that.
I know I sound like an addict trying to convince himself, "I won't do it. I'm done. Seriously. Really! I don't want it! No way!" But really, it's true. :)
One small mystery was cleared up, too...at least, maybe. She was very, very paranoid about the trunk of her car. I have no idea why, but Saturday and Sunday, she insisted on getting the heavy stroller in and out of the trunk herself. She'd almost "shoo" me away. Today, she left two CD's sitting on the downstairs table. Madonna's "Erotic" and REO Speedwagon (ohhhh, the Anchower irony!) Hits.
I know I sound all suspicious still. I can't help it - I'm perceptive even when I don't want to be. Am I paranoid? Nah, don't think so. It was OBVIOUS. Something was up with that.
So, anyway...Madonna Erotica and REO Speedwagon...sheesh!! If there's more cliche' "make out" music, it could only be what Vic Damone in "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" suggested: "And - this is important now - whatever you do, make sure to play Side Two of Led Zeppelin 'Four'." (That's a joke, people. Watch the movie.)
So, maybe that's what she was hiding in the trunk....I don't know, but it's as good a guess as any. I don't really much worry about it, like I said I know EVERYTHING I need - or want - to know. I have no desire to sneak or spy anymore...but I'm a detective at heart (I've always wanted to work for our fraud department at work, for example. I LOVE that stuff!!) so I can't help the 'ol brain trying to figure out what she was all paranoid about in the trunk....weird.
This is another thing about why I have no desire to find out anything else, read any mail, any of that crap: I don't NEED to. I'll tell you, for people having an affair, they aren't very good at it. Sure, she's not all that computer saavy so I can't fault her for not clearing a disk cache - that's pretty high tech actually. I use Yahoo mail all the time and never really thought about it myself! And she probably trusts me enough that I wouldn't read it if I could. Which is why I feel all dirty that I did. But I had to know, y'know?
But this guy...man...not smart about it at all! I realized that the #'s in his screen name is most likely his birthday...! So, for a measley $10 I paid one of those people-finder websites, entered his name (which I've known since Monday, you remember?) and got his complete info - home address, home phone #, cellphone #, etc.
Freakin' amazing, and a little scary! All you need is a name and a birthdate.
Try it on yourself - it's free to see how it works, it'll tell you how many addresses it can find for the name/birthdate combo. It only gives you the city/state, you have to pay the $10 to get the "real" info, but I put my name/date in there and it knew EVERY city/state I've lived in since I lived with Mom. Freakin' scary.
http://www.people-finders.ws/?site=6&from=7671
For $40, I coulda got the whole damn deal - car registration, criminal background checks, net worth, mortgates, etc. Not that I'd care, but wow. Who knew stuff like that was so easy and cheap to get? Of course, I'd suggest SHE pay that $40 to really see what she's getting into, if it gets to that point.
The real reason I'm blogging this info? SO that in a week or so, I can show her this, say "See? I've known for weeks all about him...and I've done nothing. And I won't ever do anything. You do what you gotta do, but see, you don't need to be afraid." I just don't want her AFRAID of me. That's so silly and depressing right there. But, it seems like maybe that'll work a little. If she knows I've known all this time, but just let it happen and didn't care...well...maybe that will help her see I DID give her space and I'm NOT someone she needs to be "afraid" of.
Control freak? Yeah, I guess so. Getting the info just make me so calm, I'm sure it is a control thing. Like, I know as much about him as he does about me. So, I can relax now.
I would NEVER call the guy, or his wife, or go to his house, or ANYTHING. I won't Email the dude. Why would I do that? It would drive her right into his arms, sure as shit.
I have to sit back and let it play out to the end, nothing else I can do.
And I really have...the last 3 days, we haven't talked about it at all. I think today I did ask her if she'd please not "make fun" of me at work to him. You know, I don't want her being all, "Listen to what the doofus tried to do yesterday to impress me - he cooked dinner! Big deal, it sucked!" I don't want that, I admit it - it would hurt my pride and trash my dignity. Aside from that, though...and of course the discussion that came up when she knew I found her condom supply...well...I've been good. No bothering her about it at all.
Yeah, I'm talking about it in this blog, but that's it. I haven't nagged EL about it since Friday night. That's the point...blog here, call my friends and family when I'm really tourqued up and need to talk it out a bit, and leave her alone. So far, the last 3 days...it's working.
posted by Fensty at 8:54 PM
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