Tuesday Night ... My wife's on a date.
Well, you know, sitting here while my wife is out on a date...it's not as bad as it was the first time, I can say that. Not that I'm going to accept this or anything, but, somehow it's not as agonizing as I thought it would be. At least at the moment. Maybe later.
It's like a game - and I wonder if that's exactly what this is to her. To me, I'm waiting for my love to figure out what she's going to do with her future, trying to be patient, trying to give her this space because I KNOW it's not going to "work" with this guy, so I'll wait, be here when she falls, and hope that then she'll want to fix the marriage. She might not want to anyway, of course...but it's all I've got.
But to her, maybe this is just a game. "How much shit will he take, before he gives up and leaves." I really don't want to think that, but I wonder. She says it isn't, but what else WOULD she say?
Anyway - something else just occurred to me, I'd forgotten this. She said something the other day that really makes me wonder where her head is.
I don't remember how or why we got on this conversation, I think it was something about how innocent this all started, he was just her friend at work to talk to, yadda yadda yadda.
But she said, "It's funny, he told me after we talked a few times that he thought I was having an affair with (some other guy's name) in the office, isn't that funny...I guess because I have to deal with (the other guy) so often and we're always talking on the phone and stuff."
No - I'm not taking that the way you might think, I'm not thinking she was having anything going on with anyone.
Nope...what I can't understand, is how she cannot see what that MEANS. The guy OBVIOUSLY only started chatting her up because he thought she was the easy office married bimbo.
Or... -sigh- Is this just more wishful thinking for me to not like this guy? I don't know. But what a weird thing to say, and how can she not see that. Or, like my sister says, maybe she does and just doesn't care....maybe all she wants from him is one thing, y'know? However - I don't really buy that either. The way it started, the way she talks, it really is more like she's got a "crush" on this guy and vice-versa. OK, a filthy adulterous crush, but a crush nonetheless. A lust-crush. I dunno, is there a word for that?
Anyway...it's time to pick up the phone and call somebody. Don't know who though.
It's like a game - and I wonder if that's exactly what this is to her. To me, I'm waiting for my love to figure out what she's going to do with her future, trying to be patient, trying to give her this space because I KNOW it's not going to "work" with this guy, so I'll wait, be here when she falls, and hope that then she'll want to fix the marriage. She might not want to anyway, of course...but it's all I've got.
But to her, maybe this is just a game. "How much shit will he take, before he gives up and leaves." I really don't want to think that, but I wonder. She says it isn't, but what else WOULD she say?
Anyway - something else just occurred to me, I'd forgotten this. She said something the other day that really makes me wonder where her head is.
I don't remember how or why we got on this conversation, I think it was something about how innocent this all started, he was just her friend at work to talk to, yadda yadda yadda.
But she said, "It's funny, he told me after we talked a few times that he thought I was having an affair with (some other guy's name) in the office, isn't that funny...I guess because I have to deal with (the other guy) so often and we're always talking on the phone and stuff."
No - I'm not taking that the way you might think, I'm not thinking she was having anything going on with anyone.
Nope...what I can't understand, is how she cannot see what that MEANS. The guy OBVIOUSLY only started chatting her up because he thought she was the easy office married bimbo.
Or... -sigh- Is this just more wishful thinking for me to not like this guy? I don't know. But what a weird thing to say, and how can she not see that. Or, like my sister says, maybe she does and just doesn't care....maybe all she wants from him is one thing, y'know? However - I don't really buy that either. The way it started, the way she talks, it really is more like she's got a "crush" on this guy and vice-versa. OK, a filthy adulterous crush, but a crush nonetheless. A lust-crush. I dunno, is there a word for that?
Anyway...it's time to pick up the phone and call somebody. Don't know who though.
posted by Fensty at 7:42 PM
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