To "Anon" And Others...

Hi. OK, look, call me uptight. But I refer you to an entry I wrote almost 2 months ago, about an issue which has suddenly reared it's head in here again.


To wit: How can ANYONE argue with someone saying, "You're an abuser and a controller and potentially a batterer."

If you say you aren't, you're in denial and won't admit to a problem, which makes you dangerous and unstable and your loved ones should flee to safety.

If you say you are, then you're dangerous and unstable and your loved ones should flee to safety.

If you PROTEST, well then, you're in denial, dangerously unstable, and -AGITATED-...so, someone call the police as your loved ones flee to safety.

Well, I'm sorry. I have a bad temper, I have for 30-odd years, and it has never, even once, manifested itself in anything other than some yellin' and some swearin' and occasionally some throwin' things. I'm not saying that's RIGHT. I'm just saying, that's ALL.

Never, not once, 30+ years. I'd think, if it was going to "escalate" into battering and violence, it might've done so by now, don't you?

This is not the first time in my life I've been confronted with infidelity. I had my high school "true love" girlfriend tell me one night she'd fucked my best friend, fucked TWO of my best friends at the same time, and fucked the dude who went on vacation with us (along with his girlfriend) while me and his girlfriend were at the beach. My reaction? "You fucking whore..." and walked away, got in my car, drove home.

It is not the first time I've been dropped, with no control over the situation and felt helpless, hopeless, and powerless. My 2nd longterm girlfriend, for reasons to THIS DAY I have no idea about, came to where I worked, informed me casually she never wanted to see me again and I shouldn't attempt to contact her, and walked out of my life.

My reaction? Finish my shift (can't remember if I cried, or was just heartbroken) drive home, try to call her once (get hung up on) and write her 3 letters - just one a week, nonthreatening (I bet I could STILL find copies somewhere all this time later, on a floppy somwhere) just asking, basically, "Why. Can you just tell me why?" She wrote back telling me "just leave me alone" and I did. Never attempted to contact her again.



Anyway...go read. Why should I repeat myself again.

http://thebadhusband.blogspot.com/2004/11/fundamental-problem.html


Besides, even if it WOULD HAVE (and can't we all play the "what might've been" game?) escalated - I've gotten help. Anger management. Medication. Regular therapy. Mental exercises to avoid it. Fact is, it's over and done forever. Deal with it. I have. Anyone who is afraid of me, you brought your fear in here with you and you projected it onto me. I've given you no reason to be.