OK, ok, an entry...

OK, well, just to make Nicky happy… Here’s an entry.

It really has been awhile hasn’t it? All I can say is, life is busy but boring.

No drama to speak of in the world of divorce. EL still insane, of course, but I’ve come even further in accepting it.

As I wrote when I got all defensive about it, the spying/snooping is, interestingly, the thing that’s finally made me decide I don’t NEED to spy/snoop anymore.

As in – what else is there to learn? I’m vindicated. I feel fine. I know that, despite my damaging our marriage, taking her for granted, and being guilty of a bad temper, depression, and some emotional neglect, that I tried to save my marriage when I realized what was wrong. She’d already made up her mind, to me, based on some stupid assumptions, some immaturity, and the fog/confusion of the affair.

But none of THAT is my fault. Screwing up the marriage, half my fault. Giving up on it, not my fault. Spying on her showed me she’s nuts, truly insane, and quite honestly, just a dirty, dirty person.



Amusingly, and I don’t consider this spying because she SENT it (apparently forgetting I’m in her address book – or trying to “dig” at me maybe...) directly to me, she sent out one of those stupid chain letters of 30 questions, “Get to know your friends” in which #13 was:


> 13. What characteristic do you despise? lying, anyone who feels they
>have to cover the things they've done up

OK, yeah. A married woman has an affair with a married man...and a month later says what she despises most is people who lie to cover up things they've done?

So, anyway…this is a person who’s head is so far up their ass in denial they actually have the balls (figuratively speaking) to write something like that?


It’s not the first time either, when I WAS still doing some hefty-duty spying, her one online personal ad said the quality she admired most in people was “honesty” and at some other point she said something like, “I’m looking for total honesty and openness in a relationship.”

Insanity. Not. My. Problem.


So, ok, as far as drama goes that’s about it. Her mother is still meddling in our divorce – for those of you who’ve been thru the process you know this, those that haven’t:

When she filed, the claim was like this 40-point legal document with all types of standard boilerplate legalese in it. I remember commenting on it in here, #36 was something along the lines of, “Plaintiff (EL) petitions for primary custody of child. Plaintiff feels she is the better parent and has been more involved in the child’s life.” (paraphrasing, you get the idea.)

I didn’t freak out, I just asked my lawyer if that was a serious thing or just standard opening-gambit legal crap. She said that’s all it was and she had the standard counter-claim boilerplate response. When she prepared my counter-claim that’s exactly what it said, something like, “RE: Item 36 – Defendant petitions for primary custody of child, feels he is the better parent and better able to provide for the welfare of child.” (again paraphrased)

So, what happened? EL’s mother opened the claim when it came to her house (that’s where EL’s been getting her legal mail sent I guess) and FLIPPED OUT. Called EL at work, raised all kinds of hell, swore I was trying to “Steal The Boy! Stop him EL! I knew he couldn’t be trusted! How DARE he! EL you need to stop him right now!!!!”

EL called ME at work, all freakin’ up in my face. I let her scream and yell a bit, then I said, “EL, do you remember your initial claim? That it said right in there that you wanted primary custody? Right? Did I freak out? No. It’s legal crap. We’ve ALREADY STIPULATED OUR AGREEMENT, remember? The lawyers are drawing it up now, we cancelled our custody court date because we’re just stipulating an agreement. Go home and read that document and compare it to yours.”

She calmed down and I think it actually started to get thru to her a little bit that her mother is really going to fuck all this up if she doesn’t BACK THE FUCK OFF.


Otherwise all is well. We DID stipulate a perfectly reasonable agreement for custody as I think I’ve already commented here – almost nothing is really in writing, actually. Only that it’s joint physical AND joint legal custody, though I concede that she can have him 3 days a week to my 2, and we alternate weekends. We didn’t put any other limitations in other than first right of refusal for babysitting if the other parent has The Boy but is going out; that he wakes up at a different house each Christmas morning; and that’s about it. Easy and amicable.


RHA and I are still just an amazing couple! Things just get better and better.

Last night, finally went to the gym for the first time. I only joined like a month ago, about time, eh? But that was nice, the ice was broken, so now I’m primed to go at least 2-3 times a week.

I’ve discovered a new hobby that is keeping me busy lately: I’ve always had this idea to make a computer case out of an old floor-standing wooden cabinet radio from the 1920’s, so I bought a few things on Ebay to satisfy that geekish desire. I’ll post some pics as soon as I get the chance to do so.

AND, I just got a FREE Yamaha SX650 motorcycle, too. Doesn’t run of course, but just a minor ignition problem – fuel and compression are fine, just no spark. And the guy has an entire set of spare parts from a 2nd bike as well, everything except the frame/gas tank.

Holy shit, eh?

Courtesy of http://www.freecycle.org I suggest you join TODAY! Even my crappy little town in PA has a group of about 400 members. The larger towns 10 minutes away have about 3000 members each!

Gave away some of The Boy’s old baby furniture that way, too.


So…that’s kinda where I stand. Not a lot going on, not much to post about. Busy with life, work, The Boy, and RHA.

Later!