Sorry, Blog is Boring Sans Angst

So, it seems, when I'm back absorbed in the humdrum day-to-day, that my blog is pretty boring. Without a lot of angst in it, I mean...

Weekend was uneventful and downright boring. I was sick, of course, which ruined my Friday night plans (with ER, who has not talked to me since I told her I had conjunctivitis/pink-eye and I'm thinking she didn't believe me...) and then the weekend I still had the annoying cough and the fever even came back a little on Saturday - so I guess it's almost a "good thing" I got the pink eye, as otherwise I wouldn't have bothered going to the doctor for what I thought was just an annoying chest cold, but which was bronchitis on the verge of going pneumonia on me....if I had a fever sneak back in after a day and a half on antibiotics, I hate to think what I'd have been feeling if I'd not gone at all.

So, didn't get much accomplished over the weekend.

Work today was better. The project I'm working on has much clearer objectives, a much more simple Point A to Point Z process of development, and the first phase is merely a lot of cut-and-paste work which is exactly what I needed.

I've met another "personal ad" person who I've been talking to the last 2 days, intially I almost didn't write her back, as I'm gun-shy of anyone under the age of about 32 right now, and she's a mere 28. However, she's divorced, has a Masters in an intellectual field, and owns her own home, so I'm not afraid of any immaturity issues like with EL. I think I'm safe.

And, she is the FIRST PERSON I have met yet who knew why my (dearly departed but not forgotten) cat's name is Eric. And The Boy's hamster's name was Mouse Eric. And my other two cats are named Ming Horus Eric of the Nile, and Jade Bastet Eric of the Mysterious East.

(pardon me while I Google that to make sure you can't track it back to me...ok, seems to be clear, but I have at least one resident Google expert on this page who, if you can do more than that than I can, needs to contact me... :) )

Any takers on why all my pets are called Eric?

Well, anyway, so that right there's a pretty good sign. I've about decided thatPunky, while an awesome person and someone I can talk to for hours and really feel a connection with, is not someone who in the end is a good "match" right now. She is too immersed in her own seperation, freedom from her lousy ex, and enjoying being single to be more than a friend right now - but a very, very good friend who I am glad I've met and I am pretty sure will be a permanent part of my life going forward.

There are two other ladies I talk to on a regular basis, one I've met, one I STILL haven't even though I want to, who are also close friends with a "who knows?" attached to the feelings. But, "AH" (the 28 year old Master's) is someone I look forward to a few dates with to see what's there.

It seems very odd to be feeling this way while barely seperated (officially) less than 2 months, and less than 3 weeks of actually living apart from EL, but EL shows no signs whatsoever of having any second thoughts, and I don't really want her to anymore - it's hard to let go entirely, in fact I still feel protective enough toward EL to feel pity for the crash she's heading for, and to wish she'd not have made the choices she made, but neither do I want to be married to her anymore. I'm PRETTY sure that's not just a defense mechanism either, having seen so much (yes, some of it through illicit snooping around) and heard so much from her, well, I just can't see going back, ever.

We talked about this big 4 day / 3 day thing. I explained my hesitation, that she may be running some sort of legal angle, but the fact is - she's so goddamn selfish and naive I don't think she is. I know I may look gullible in this, but I swear she doesn't HAVE that much guile in her.

Here's why - when I asked why she insisted on this extra day, she just kept saying, "He's my baby - he's my son and I love him, I can't be apart from him that long and he'll miss me." She apparently has no friggin' clue that that's offensive and hurtful to me. What, I don't love my son? He's not my "baby"? He's not the center of my freakin' universe and sometimes the only reason I feel I can get out of bed in the morning? He's not the greatest gift in the universe to me? Please. And she repeats it again and again, like, "What, JD, how can you not understand - he's my baby! I love him!" She's that myopic that she doesn't understand I could feel the same way.

So...guile? Maybe, I haven't ruled it out nor will I be stupid, but, I honestly don't think so. I have told her I will only consent to it if we put something in writing, right in the agreement, to the effect that she has made this special request, and has made it a focal point of our amicability - such that she's said if I don't "give in" she will make life a living hell and fight for everything and anything in court, it'll be bitter, acrimonious, and we'll never be able to get along. Or, I can give her the one day and it will be the goodwill and amicable gesture needed to make everything else smooth, friendly, easy on The Boy, and so forth. Stipulating in writing I am only doing it to make The Boy's life through this process as painless and possible and to foster goodwill and a spirit of cooperation between EL and I.

(Thanks, you know who, for that advice.)

I will still run this by my lawyer, and will discuss it with some other people in a position to advise me further, but overall I do think it's going to be OK and won't impact my relationship with my son as much as if I didn't give it to her, and we had a horrible knock-down drag-out angry acrimonious custody battle through the courts.

So, we seemed to agree on that OK then, and some other minor monetary matters (I'm going to stop paying for her benefits, by which I mean I'm taking $30 every 2 weeks off the amount of day care I'm paying for for him right now, until she's officially off my benefits at the end of the divorce, things like that - because money is now uber-tight for me) and things, and the call was over.

And really aside from that, there's not much going on. My son was happy to see me of course, kept saying, "I missed Daddy!" which was bittersweet, and we've had a great night together...EL is even acceptable with me keeping him an extra night this week since she had him a total of 4 days in a row for the mini-vacation they were just on with, of course, her Mother.

So...sorry there's not a lot of drama to report. :)